I have A LOT of thoughts on this. First, good job for knowing what you want, writing it down, making it a practice, and seeing some of what might be in the way. I did Dispenza meditations every day for 2 years several years back and they didn't do much for me either at the time. A lot has shifted in me since then. I've acquired other mentors/read other books/amended my meditations. I've worked on being more present and appreciative, so that the distance between where I am and where I want to be feels achievable and I'm not self-sabotaging with "this isn't really possible" thoughts. This also includes a lot of relaxing and accepting (which seems partly an age thing I am finally starting to get). Also my manifestation meditations are shorter, more catered to how my mind works, and really fun to do. And I believe they are actually achievable (some are similar to yours, e.g. feeling the joy of RuPaul picking my novel for his book club and interviewing me). And I am investing everyone in my vision. I had a book launch party for 20 friends recently and read them an excerpt from my new novel. It was awesome! Brought it all that much closer to reality. ❤️
Bonnie!! Thank you so much for sharing all of this with me- it’s motivating to know that we can refine the process and make it work for US. I also love to read that you have found other mentors- I am currently on the search 🔦
Your book party sounds like a BLAST!!!!!💥 so fun and enticing I am in awe & inspired!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave bread crumbs for me in the midst of all that surrounds you with the current fires. I hope you are still safe and surrounded with supplies for what you may need through this time!! 🤍
Omg, I love the book launch idea!! I am thrilled you made that happen for yourself Bonnie. If we don't invest our time and energy into making our dreams come true, who else will do it?
Yes, yes, yesssss. "Selling my soul for the sake of approval". OOOOOF that hits.
You, my dear Miss K, are so so so so sooooo worthy of giving yourself ALL the space!!! Your peace must come first. Thank you so much for this beautiful reminder. I walk alongside you. ✨❤️🔥🫶
Omg MEGS we are NOT SELLING OUT in 2025!!! Thank you so much for reading and supporting and *holding space* for me here. There is an entire galaxy of space for you too, and we have a connecting door. 🚪 I’ll see you inside ♥️
I feel like we’re at very similar points in our journeys, K!
Even after working through The Artist’s Way THREE times, even after years of journaling, I’m still discovering resentments + codependent leanings (that external validation is such a tempting vixen!!).
Whenever I realize I am holding onto either resentment or am hungry for external validation, I do one of two things, or both. I begin reciting the ho’oponopono prayer (I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you) in my head, mostly directed at myself first, then towards the object of my resentment once I feel stable and content; and/or I do a meditation similar to yours in which I imagine roots growing from the soles of my feet all the way down into the core of the earth, which immediately begin bringing sparkling ✨ golden honey-like energy up into my body. When that sparkling golden energy reaches my upper torso, enormous branches grow out and reach tall and wide. Opalescent reiki energy from the celestial heavens gets drawn into the tips of my branches, down through my whole body, my roots, and into the earth. I install a fairy ring of mushrooms 🍄 around me in between the roots and branches. Amy yucky gunk that either the sparkling gold earth energy, or the opalescent celestial reiki energy find on their journey through me is shunted out to the mushrooms, who happily gobble it up and transmute it back into healthy energy, which they release back into the earth via their enormous mycelium network. Even typing out this experience is making me smile; I truly enjoy feeling and envisioning this, and it always helps me relax and ground.
On another note, I’ve always known that I prefer writing to speaking, but recently I’ve come to acknowledge that I actually need to communicate that way. I was accused by a friend I was breaking up with recently of being a “fucking coward” because I insisted on explaining my feelings via text rather than in person. Had I met with her in person, I would have forgotten everything I had to say, felt a lump in my throat, felt confused, and its possible I would have let the ‘friendship’ limp along simply because I was incapable of speaking my truth, or even remembering what it was while in her presence. I do feel like some of this can probably be overcome with practice and increased confidence; but I don’t see words ever flowing effortlessly from my mouth like they do from my pen or from my finger swiping across my iPhone. It is comforting to know I am not alone in my preference for written communication. It has the added benefit of continuing to exist after the conversation, too. I probably prefer this due to too many instances of being gaslit about verbal conversations, but being able to to prove that something was discussed, and in the way I remember it, is a huge bonus to me.
I made my first vision board this year, because I finally found a style that really resonates with me. Colette Baron-Reide who authored three of my four oracle decks came up with this fun artistic method, which is on YouTube. I’m focusing on feelings, rather than specific experiences, aside from perfect health for myself and my doggo, lol.
Thanks for this post! I really connected with it and enjoyed reading. 🖤
Jules- I don't know where to start but I have tears in my eyes and I am incredibly THANKFUL that you took the time to both read this letter and also share your experiences with me. I am in ALIGNMENT!
I love both of your prayers. My mom took me to a ho'oponopono prayer workshop in AZ many years ago. I didn't understand the power behind the prayer then, and could not appreciate it. I do now and reading that you use it with YOURSELF really strikes a chord with me. I will try. <3 I also love your roots to branches & mushroom meditation and feel a smile on my face as I visualize with you! Thank you for sharing such a personal tool with me.
So sorry about your recent friendship-ending, but also VERY MUCH with you on the part about meeting in person and letting something toxic drag out. May you be FREE and your spirit attract ONLY the BEST most compassionate and FUN friends into your life (& mine).
I am going to watch your YouTube for your vision board!
Aaaaahhh full body happy tingly goosebumps K! You’re welcome. I’m so happy it resonated with you as much as it did. I’m so happy to hear you’re going to try the ho’oponopono prayer on yourself; I find it incredibly healing ❤️🩹.
Thank you so much for your happy healthy friendship wishes, for me and you both. YES. I magnify and reflect that wish back out for both of us, and anyone else who happens to read this 🖤.
I didn’t put my vision board on my YouTube channel, as I made it while watching Colette’s instructional video on it. I’ll post a pic here, though 😸. If I can figure out how… maybe it’s not an option in comments? If not, I’ll DM you.
We rarely think that resentment could be hindering our progress when we're stuck in a people pleasing response. I'm so glad you've found a way to recognize what you truly need. Alignment is something I'm wanting to cultivate more of this year too. I'm so sorry about the flu though, I hope you're doing better now. Thank you for sharing your insights! 🙏💚
Hi Julia! I have a sister named Julia- you are wonderful people!! Thank you so much for reading here and for sharing your vision to cultivate more alignment in 2025- cheers to us BOTH! I am feeling MUCH better- thank you for checking! ✨
Sitting in the discomfort of saying no or telling others “I’ll get back to them” is so hard!!! But worth it. Can’t wait to hear how you work on your alignment this year! Too bad you can’t just get it done like with your tires 😂
I love everything about this- except, of course, the fact that you got the dreaded bird flu (Fin and I just recovered- your body WILL be your own again soon, I promise, hang in there. It's AWFUL!) But I deeply feel the shift from external to internal goals, and I think the question of alignment is absolutely spot-on. The Ted Talks and Nobel Peace prizes can wait. (Though I believe you're capable of both)- first let's take stock of and clear out those dark clouds inside. Bravo, my friend. I'm cheering us both on! xoxo
😭✨🩷 thank you so much for your virtual embrace and encouragement. Also for not thinking that I need to be admitted to a ward for my former aspirations. 🤣
I hope you both are doing well now and Augie & I catch up to good health RIGHT QUICK!
K, you are not delusional, but you are overextended as you so thoughtfully came to realize. I just posted something where I briefly mention that rapid growth of the American economy caused by overproduction, has led to a manufacturing of desire. We have more, but then we also want more which leaves us dissatisfied with our lives. Wanting less will not make us richer but it will make us happier. Love to you! XO 🥰❤️
I have A LOT of thoughts on this. First, good job for knowing what you want, writing it down, making it a practice, and seeing some of what might be in the way. I did Dispenza meditations every day for 2 years several years back and they didn't do much for me either at the time. A lot has shifted in me since then. I've acquired other mentors/read other books/amended my meditations. I've worked on being more present and appreciative, so that the distance between where I am and where I want to be feels achievable and I'm not self-sabotaging with "this isn't really possible" thoughts. This also includes a lot of relaxing and accepting (which seems partly an age thing I am finally starting to get). Also my manifestation meditations are shorter, more catered to how my mind works, and really fun to do. And I believe they are actually achievable (some are similar to yours, e.g. feeling the joy of RuPaul picking my novel for his book club and interviewing me). And I am investing everyone in my vision. I had a book launch party for 20 friends recently and read them an excerpt from my new novel. It was awesome! Brought it all that much closer to reality. ❤️
Bonnie!! Thank you so much for sharing all of this with me- it’s motivating to know that we can refine the process and make it work for US. I also love to read that you have found other mentors- I am currently on the search 🔦
Your book party sounds like a BLAST!!!!!💥 so fun and enticing I am in awe & inspired!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave bread crumbs for me in the midst of all that surrounds you with the current fires. I hope you are still safe and surrounded with supplies for what you may need through this time!! 🤍
Omg, I love the book launch idea!! I am thrilled you made that happen for yourself Bonnie. If we don't invest our time and energy into making our dreams come true, who else will do it?
This is so true ✨
Exactly!
The like response not allowing so I will type a big like!
Hi Zara!! Big like right back- thank you for reading and taking the time to comment! I love your name. I have always liked “Z” names :)
Yes, yes, yesssss. "Selling my soul for the sake of approval". OOOOOF that hits.
You, my dear Miss K, are so so so so sooooo worthy of giving yourself ALL the space!!! Your peace must come first. Thank you so much for this beautiful reminder. I walk alongside you. ✨❤️🔥🫶
Omg MEGS we are NOT SELLING OUT in 2025!!! Thank you so much for reading and supporting and *holding space* for me here. There is an entire galaxy of space for you too, and we have a connecting door. 🚪 I’ll see you inside ♥️
This is divine timing thank you! Interview me!
Hi Moriah! I’d love to interview you!! You can submit your contact info at the bottom of this post or reply here w your email if you’d like! ✨
Uff this is so damn good! So proud of you!
Ash!! Thank you 🥹
I feel like we’re at very similar points in our journeys, K!
Even after working through The Artist’s Way THREE times, even after years of journaling, I’m still discovering resentments + codependent leanings (that external validation is such a tempting vixen!!).
Whenever I realize I am holding onto either resentment or am hungry for external validation, I do one of two things, or both. I begin reciting the ho’oponopono prayer (I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you) in my head, mostly directed at myself first, then towards the object of my resentment once I feel stable and content; and/or I do a meditation similar to yours in which I imagine roots growing from the soles of my feet all the way down into the core of the earth, which immediately begin bringing sparkling ✨ golden honey-like energy up into my body. When that sparkling golden energy reaches my upper torso, enormous branches grow out and reach tall and wide. Opalescent reiki energy from the celestial heavens gets drawn into the tips of my branches, down through my whole body, my roots, and into the earth. I install a fairy ring of mushrooms 🍄 around me in between the roots and branches. Amy yucky gunk that either the sparkling gold earth energy, or the opalescent celestial reiki energy find on their journey through me is shunted out to the mushrooms, who happily gobble it up and transmute it back into healthy energy, which they release back into the earth via their enormous mycelium network. Even typing out this experience is making me smile; I truly enjoy feeling and envisioning this, and it always helps me relax and ground.
On another note, I’ve always known that I prefer writing to speaking, but recently I’ve come to acknowledge that I actually need to communicate that way. I was accused by a friend I was breaking up with recently of being a “fucking coward” because I insisted on explaining my feelings via text rather than in person. Had I met with her in person, I would have forgotten everything I had to say, felt a lump in my throat, felt confused, and its possible I would have let the ‘friendship’ limp along simply because I was incapable of speaking my truth, or even remembering what it was while in her presence. I do feel like some of this can probably be overcome with practice and increased confidence; but I don’t see words ever flowing effortlessly from my mouth like they do from my pen or from my finger swiping across my iPhone. It is comforting to know I am not alone in my preference for written communication. It has the added benefit of continuing to exist after the conversation, too. I probably prefer this due to too many instances of being gaslit about verbal conversations, but being able to to prove that something was discussed, and in the way I remember it, is a huge bonus to me.
I made my first vision board this year, because I finally found a style that really resonates with me. Colette Baron-Reide who authored three of my four oracle decks came up with this fun artistic method, which is on YouTube. I’m focusing on feelings, rather than specific experiences, aside from perfect health for myself and my doggo, lol.
Thanks for this post! I really connected with it and enjoyed reading. 🖤
Jules- I don't know where to start but I have tears in my eyes and I am incredibly THANKFUL that you took the time to both read this letter and also share your experiences with me. I am in ALIGNMENT!
I love both of your prayers. My mom took me to a ho'oponopono prayer workshop in AZ many years ago. I didn't understand the power behind the prayer then, and could not appreciate it. I do now and reading that you use it with YOURSELF really strikes a chord with me. I will try. <3 I also love your roots to branches & mushroom meditation and feel a smile on my face as I visualize with you! Thank you for sharing such a personal tool with me.
So sorry about your recent friendship-ending, but also VERY MUCH with you on the part about meeting in person and letting something toxic drag out. May you be FREE and your spirit attract ONLY the BEST most compassionate and FUN friends into your life (& mine).
I am going to watch your YouTube for your vision board!
Sending you virtual hugs and mushies today. Xx 🍄
Aaaaahhh full body happy tingly goosebumps K! You’re welcome. I’m so happy it resonated with you as much as it did. I’m so happy to hear you’re going to try the ho’oponopono prayer on yourself; I find it incredibly healing ❤️🩹.
Thank you so much for your happy healthy friendship wishes, for me and you both. YES. I magnify and reflect that wish back out for both of us, and anyone else who happens to read this 🖤.
I didn’t put my vision board on my YouTube channel, as I made it while watching Colette’s instructional video on it. I’ll post a pic here, though 😸. If I can figure out how… maybe it’s not an option in comments? If not, I’ll DM you.
Substack absolutely needs to allow us to post photos in the comments!! ✨ You must be credited for this idea!!
Haha! Thank you 😸
We rarely think that resentment could be hindering our progress when we're stuck in a people pleasing response. I'm so glad you've found a way to recognize what you truly need. Alignment is something I'm wanting to cultivate more of this year too. I'm so sorry about the flu though, I hope you're doing better now. Thank you for sharing your insights! 🙏💚
Hi Julia! I have a sister named Julia- you are wonderful people!! Thank you so much for reading here and for sharing your vision to cultivate more alignment in 2025- cheers to us BOTH! I am feeling MUCH better- thank you for checking! ✨
That's great to hear! I love that your sister and I have the same name. Yes, cheers to us both! ✨
Sitting in the discomfort of saying no or telling others “I’ll get back to them” is so hard!!! But worth it. Can’t wait to hear how you work on your alignment this year! Too bad you can’t just get it done like with your tires 😂
LOL Lindsey- a tire rotation for my spiritual alignment is EXACTLY what I need and my husband would very much appreciate your advice 🤣
The discomfort really IS hard, but I am hoping will unearth some gems! Thank you for reading and making me laugh! Xx
I love everything about this- except, of course, the fact that you got the dreaded bird flu (Fin and I just recovered- your body WILL be your own again soon, I promise, hang in there. It's AWFUL!) But I deeply feel the shift from external to internal goals, and I think the question of alignment is absolutely spot-on. The Ted Talks and Nobel Peace prizes can wait. (Though I believe you're capable of both)- first let's take stock of and clear out those dark clouds inside. Bravo, my friend. I'm cheering us both on! xoxo
😭✨🩷 thank you so much for your virtual embrace and encouragement. Also for not thinking that I need to be admitted to a ward for my former aspirations. 🤣
I hope you both are doing well now and Augie & I catch up to good health RIGHT QUICK!
Xx 🫎
K, you are not delusional, but you are overextended as you so thoughtfully came to realize. I just posted something where I briefly mention that rapid growth of the American economy caused by overproduction, has led to a manufacturing of desire. We have more, but then we also want more which leaves us dissatisfied with our lives. Wanting less will not make us richer but it will make us happier. Love to you! XO 🥰❤️
Amy that is exactly EXACTLY what I am experiencing?! I am RUNNING to read your words now! Thank you 🙏
I love a good vision board!! Becoming supernatural is in my cart as well, thanks for the recommendation!!
Thanks for supporting over here TH!!
🙏🏻🙏🏻