I have, for the first time in my life, started following a pretty consistent routine, which I find is helping me to not push myself beyond my capacity. I work with small children and have an active voice and facial expressions for the entirety of my workday, so this year I finally had to make myself stick to an 8-3 workday at max. I am the primary income in our family, and my job is such that the more I work, the more I earn (no sick days or any of that), so in the past I have pushed to work 8-5:30 to bring in more income. However, that backfired when I experienced burnout followed by panic disorder and had to miss a ton of work. Since recovering from all of that, I still have a hard time choosing a self-care activity over doing something for someone in my family. But I am really finding that my schedule helps me. It's like I feel guilty to not help my husband mow the lawn but I feel less guilty if I'm just following the schedule and the schedule says it's time for a snack and a walk! My self-care activities include: outdoor walks, time in my hammock if the weather allows, guided meditations on Insight Timer, drinking more water than I think I need to, practicing piano (total beginner but I believe I have potential!), warm showers with good smelling body wash, cozy pajamas that usually include my husband's T shirts, and my ultimate favorite that has been the most life changing: journaling.
I am humbled to read how openly you shared with us here, LDR. Thank you. I resonate with much of your work ethic- minus shame for not mowing the lawn 😅
Your self care routine sounds instrumental and so many of your practices align with what I do, too!! I started intentionally journaling 2.22 this year (the day I saw Liz Gilbert at the balboa theatre) it has been a lifeline and a practice I most look forward to.
Sending you so much love- and luck with the piano!! 🤍
My name is Marnie. (Barbara The Cat is guest authoring my posts for the next few weeks 😊)
I loved your post. It's so easy for me to look to others, especially those in an authority position, to tell me when it's time to rest.
For me, self-care starts with a quiet grounding time in the morning. I pray and meditate on good things. Then I pick a poem or 2 from Melody Godfred's book Self-Love Poetry to send to my friends along with a short gratitude list. It helps me foster positivity, connection and self love.
My Substack is called Hope Stew and this week Barbara shares about rest and tuning in to your inner feline. Blessings 🥰
Hi Marnie!! Welcome to DPP, I am thrilled to have you here- thank you for sharing your substack and self care tips. I have not heard of Melanie Godfrey’s poetry- I will check it out! Can’t wait to read more from Barbara the Cat!!
Self care for me starts with going to bed on time. If I don't do that, everything else is useless. I also eat well, practice yoga, swim, get acupuncture,and journal. This collection of habits keeps me feeling on top of things, both mentally and physically. When I find myself numbing (doom scrolling, playing games on my phone, eating when not hungry), I know something is off and I need to reset.
I talk about practicing yoga after age 50, both on and off the mat! @yogaliving50andbeyond
Happy weekend! I may be a bit late to comment but wanted to share anyway. Loved this article. I have been on overdrive since my daughter was born. Any parents of autistic kiddos may understand. For every 1 simple task there's 10 back up plans and or things to bring to offset the frustration your child feels for not being able to experience the world as simply as the child next to her.
Self care boils down to a bubble bath and 30 minutes to myself some days. But on days like today, it also includes reading your posts. I LOVE them. No idea how you find time to write but kudos for keeping it up! 🥰
I don’t pretend to know what it is like to raise a neurodivergent child, but I do understand that the efforts, attention, and overall care you are providing are NEXT LEVEL and you are an angel on earth.
Thank you SO much for spending your limited time to yourself, here, with me. With us. I’m honored.
I loved this post K! I definitely still have some people pleasing tendencies, and probably more than just some. I had an anger meltdown with my therapist this afternoon. Sometimes the only way from staying in bed, under the covers all day is if I let my anger fuel me into action.
I burn hot and fast and then I'm back to baseline self, but that's what happens when I get past the point when I need self care. I push past my limit thinking I will make a plan and get everything back under control, but when that doesn't happen, boom!
About 6 months after my husband died I hired a nanny full-time to help out with my son. He was 9 back then, and I couldn't wrap my head around being the only adult in his life on a consistent basis How do you go from two people splitting a job to overnight having one person doing everything themselves?
Once I hired the nanny, I would spend a night about once every two months in a hotel in NYC, where I live. I used the money I saved on a flight or a train somewhere to book a room in a fancier hotel. That one night alone was priceless.
The last time I was away was in early April for a one day writing retreat in Washington, DC. The train ride was 3 hours each way from NYC <>DC, and the retreat itself was very intense. Not the relaxing experience I really needed. I am past due for another hotel stay, but I couldn't afford to keep the nanny full-time once my son turned 11.
I'll figure it out, but that's the #1 way I practice self care. I don't usually take action before I am completely burnt out, tank empty.
Amy! Thank you so much for making time to read the post AND reply with such an honest review of your needs. I loved learning that you live in NYC- I have never been but would LOVE to pay a visit. I have two mom-pals who also use the Hotel Stay for Self-Care Day and they both have told me how instrumental it is to their wellbeing.
I can only imagine the weight of raising your son solo, you likely deserve days upon days of Hotel/Spa retreats.
I love this question! For me, it really depends on the need. If I feel exhausted and numb, walking in the woods brings me back, or just sitting outside in the sun. Right at this exact moment, I'm sitting in the hospital's waiting room because my daughter is getting her tonsils removed and THIS (and a hot mocha) is helping me regulate. Connection and a welcome distraction can be self-care. So, thank you, dear K, for making this space!
Ohhhh this is such a great question K! I have learned over and over again that when I don't listen to my body I inevitably end up feeling horrible. If I don't decompress at the end of every day, by the end of the week I'm a puddle of nothing. For me, I try to write or read for at least an hour or two each day. This little allotment of time helps me reconnect to myself.
Sometimes the time is spread out over the course of the day which helps break it up a bit. I do try to take a break at work every two hours, sometimes every hour I'll get up and walk around for a minute if I'm able to. I feel it when I don't. I get grumpy if I've sat for too long!
I love that you're creating space for us to share!! Thanks as always ❤️❤️❤️
I try to take work breaks too- why is that so hard?! Today my goal is to walk outside at lunch time instead of working through lunch time. You hold me to that- ok?
I hope you get to take multiple stretch breaks too!
I have, for the first time in my life, started following a pretty consistent routine, which I find is helping me to not push myself beyond my capacity. I work with small children and have an active voice and facial expressions for the entirety of my workday, so this year I finally had to make myself stick to an 8-3 workday at max. I am the primary income in our family, and my job is such that the more I work, the more I earn (no sick days or any of that), so in the past I have pushed to work 8-5:30 to bring in more income. However, that backfired when I experienced burnout followed by panic disorder and had to miss a ton of work. Since recovering from all of that, I still have a hard time choosing a self-care activity over doing something for someone in my family. But I am really finding that my schedule helps me. It's like I feel guilty to not help my husband mow the lawn but I feel less guilty if I'm just following the schedule and the schedule says it's time for a snack and a walk! My self-care activities include: outdoor walks, time in my hammock if the weather allows, guided meditations on Insight Timer, drinking more water than I think I need to, practicing piano (total beginner but I believe I have potential!), warm showers with good smelling body wash, cozy pajamas that usually include my husband's T shirts, and my ultimate favorite that has been the most life changing: journaling.
I am humbled to read how openly you shared with us here, LDR. Thank you. I resonate with much of your work ethic- minus shame for not mowing the lawn 😅
Your self care routine sounds instrumental and so many of your practices align with what I do, too!! I started intentionally journaling 2.22 this year (the day I saw Liz Gilbert at the balboa theatre) it has been a lifeline and a practice I most look forward to.
Sending you so much love- and luck with the piano!! 🤍
My name is Marnie. (Barbara The Cat is guest authoring my posts for the next few weeks 😊)
I loved your post. It's so easy for me to look to others, especially those in an authority position, to tell me when it's time to rest.
For me, self-care starts with a quiet grounding time in the morning. I pray and meditate on good things. Then I pick a poem or 2 from Melody Godfred's book Self-Love Poetry to send to my friends along with a short gratitude list. It helps me foster positivity, connection and self love.
My Substack is called Hope Stew and this week Barbara shares about rest and tuning in to your inner feline. Blessings 🥰
https://open.substack.com/pub/hopestew?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=2kf3e4
Hi Marnie!! Welcome to DPP, I am thrilled to have you here- thank you for sharing your substack and self care tips. I have not heard of Melanie Godfrey’s poetry- I will check it out! Can’t wait to read more from Barbara the Cat!!
Cheers ✨😻
Self care for me starts with going to bed on time. If I don't do that, everything else is useless. I also eat well, practice yoga, swim, get acupuncture,and journal. This collection of habits keeps me feeling on top of things, both mentally and physically. When I find myself numbing (doom scrolling, playing games on my phone, eating when not hungry), I know something is off and I need to reset.
I talk about practicing yoga after age 50, both on and off the mat! @yogaliving50andbeyond
https://purpleroomyoga.substack.com
Janine- thank you so much for sharing your practice and your Substack!
I used to be better about practicing yoga- I will be checking out your writing and hope to join you on the mat soon! <3
Awesome! You are welcome anytime, K. Alexandra!
Happy weekend! I may be a bit late to comment but wanted to share anyway. Loved this article. I have been on overdrive since my daughter was born. Any parents of autistic kiddos may understand. For every 1 simple task there's 10 back up plans and or things to bring to offset the frustration your child feels for not being able to experience the world as simply as the child next to her.
Self care boils down to a bubble bath and 30 minutes to myself some days. But on days like today, it also includes reading your posts. I LOVE them. No idea how you find time to write but kudos for keeping it up! 🥰
Well hello new FFL! (Friend for life)
I don’t pretend to know what it is like to raise a neurodivergent child, but I do understand that the efforts, attention, and overall care you are providing are NEXT LEVEL and you are an angel on earth.
Thank you SO much for spending your limited time to yourself, here, with me. With us. I’m honored.
I loved this post K! I definitely still have some people pleasing tendencies, and probably more than just some. I had an anger meltdown with my therapist this afternoon. Sometimes the only way from staying in bed, under the covers all day is if I let my anger fuel me into action.
I burn hot and fast and then I'm back to baseline self, but that's what happens when I get past the point when I need self care. I push past my limit thinking I will make a plan and get everything back under control, but when that doesn't happen, boom!
About 6 months after my husband died I hired a nanny full-time to help out with my son. He was 9 back then, and I couldn't wrap my head around being the only adult in his life on a consistent basis How do you go from two people splitting a job to overnight having one person doing everything themselves?
Once I hired the nanny, I would spend a night about once every two months in a hotel in NYC, where I live. I used the money I saved on a flight or a train somewhere to book a room in a fancier hotel. That one night alone was priceless.
The last time I was away was in early April for a one day writing retreat in Washington, DC. The train ride was 3 hours each way from NYC <>DC, and the retreat itself was very intense. Not the relaxing experience I really needed. I am past due for another hotel stay, but I couldn't afford to keep the nanny full-time once my son turned 11.
I'll figure it out, but that's the #1 way I practice self care. I don't usually take action before I am completely burnt out, tank empty.
Amy! Thank you so much for making time to read the post AND reply with such an honest review of your needs. I loved learning that you live in NYC- I have never been but would LOVE to pay a visit. I have two mom-pals who also use the Hotel Stay for Self-Care Day and they both have told me how instrumental it is to their wellbeing.
I can only imagine the weight of raising your son solo, you likely deserve days upon days of Hotel/Spa retreats.
So much love to you and your boy. <3
When I am feeling irritable and/or resentful toward others that is my cue that I need to up my self-care!
That’s some pretty advanced self-awareness CVD! Thank you for sharing 🤍
I love this question! For me, it really depends on the need. If I feel exhausted and numb, walking in the woods brings me back, or just sitting outside in the sun. Right at this exact moment, I'm sitting in the hospital's waiting room because my daughter is getting her tonsils removed and THIS (and a hot mocha) is helping me regulate. Connection and a welcome distraction can be self-care. So, thank you, dear K, for making this space!
Ohhh my!! Good luck to both baby girl and you. Here’s to a speedy recovery ❤️🩹
Ohhhh this is such a great question K! I have learned over and over again that when I don't listen to my body I inevitably end up feeling horrible. If I don't decompress at the end of every day, by the end of the week I'm a puddle of nothing. For me, I try to write or read for at least an hour or two each day. This little allotment of time helps me reconnect to myself.
Sometimes the time is spread out over the course of the day which helps break it up a bit. I do try to take a break at work every two hours, sometimes every hour I'll get up and walk around for a minute if I'm able to. I feel it when I don't. I get grumpy if I've sat for too long!
I love that you're creating space for us to share!! Thanks as always ❤️❤️❤️
Xoxo
GM Mesa! <3
I try to take work breaks too- why is that so hard?! Today my goal is to walk outside at lunch time instead of working through lunch time. You hold me to that- ok?
I hope you get to take multiple stretch breaks too!
Xx