LOVE, what beautiful insights Jules!!! Learning to say THANK YOU. No deflections. Damn. I struggle so hard with receiving and I so appreciate this beautiful reminder. 🥹 And that part about living with yourself for the rest of your life so make good choices?!?!? DAMN. So so so powerful. 🙏💕
“You’re the only person that you know for certain you will have to spend the rest of your life with. If that’s not the best reason to make choices that YOU align with, I don’t know what is.”
Dear K. and Jules, Reading about the working conditions you’ve described feels like stepping into a different world from my German perspective. Here, such expectations would fall under the category of exploitation, not employment.
In Germany, our labor laws, particularly the *Arbeitszeitgesetz* (Working Time Act), are designed to protect employees from exactly this kind of overwork. By law, we’re limited to 8 hours of work per day, which can only be extended to 10 if the average over six months remains 8 hours daily. The idea of regularly requiring 60-hour weeks, especially including weekends, would not only be considered unhealthy but also illegal. Employers violating these rules face significant fines, and in severe cases, even criminal charges.
Your accounts of panic attacks and extreme overtime highlight just how critical such protections are. I’ve personally experienced what happens when those limits aren’t respected—I’ve worked 150-hour weeks in the past due to my own trauma responses, and I know how devastating that level of overwork can be for both body and mind. These laws exist because overwork isn’t just unsustainable; it’s harmful to health and well-being.
It’s hard for me to comprehend how such conditions are accepted, even normalized, in some parts of the world. I hope that sharing this perspective doesn’t come across as judgmental—it’s simply baffling to see how differently work-life balance is viewed and legislated elsewhere. My heart goes out to anyone enduring such demands, and I deeply admire your strength, Jules, in setting boundaries, even within this system.
Thank you, K., for hosting these essential conversations about people-pleasing and boundary-setting. It’s a discussion we need everywhere, and I’m grateful for the courage it takes to address these issues so openly.
Love you Jay. Here’s to finding balance in our work and life. It can feel difficult to separate ourselves from the dollar, especially when the cost of living continues to rise. Places like substack are solace to me in these times. 🤍
Yes, balance feels elusive, especially when the rising cost of living keeps us tethered so tightly to systems that don’t nurture us. It’s like we’re all caught in this relentless cycle, but stepping back—truly stepping back—can reveal so much more.
It reminds me of the mountain meditation by Jon Kabat Zinn.
When I envision myself as the mountain, steady and eternal, it shifts my entire perspective. The mountain weathers everything—storms, sunshine, fog, the wildflowers blooming on its slopes, and even the leaves that fall to nurture its soil. It just is, sitting there, uninfluenced by the chaos around it.
From its peak, I can see my life, my traumas, and even larger forces, like the rise of leaders such as DT, with clarity.
From this vantage point, I could understand how my trauma unfolded and how it connected to the systems that enabled such an event. It’s unsettling to realize how inevitable it all feels when viewed from this height, as though the strain in our systems was always bound to crack and give way.
And yet, from this perspective, I also see how these fractures might push us forward. As Mark Nepo so wisely says, we have to let go of what we’re holding onto—no matter how tightly—to step through the door into something new.
This applies not just to individuals but to nations and societies as a whole. The process is painful, and unfortunately, I believe it will get worse before it gets better—not just in the US, but across the Western world. The ripples of these changes will inevitably touch other parts of the globe, reshaping us all.
Yet, like the mountain, we endure. Sitting still through the storms, fog, and sunshine, we remain, finding strength and wisdom in our stillness.
Thank you for being part of these essential conversations, K. Sharing these reflections with others who understand gives me hope for what’s possible beyond the horizon.
I’m so grateful for places like Substack, where we can find solace and connection amidst it all. Sharing these thoughts with others who understand and care makes the weight of it all feel just a little lighter.
LOVE, what beautiful insights Jules!!! Learning to say THANK YOU. No deflections. Damn. I struggle so hard with receiving and I so appreciate this beautiful reminder. 🥹 And that part about living with yourself for the rest of your life so make good choices?!?!? DAMN. So so so powerful. 🙏💕
🥹 I really felt that too!! Thank you for reading, Megs!
“You’re the only person that you know for certain you will have to spend the rest of your life with. If that’s not the best reason to make choices that YOU align with, I don’t know what is.”
WHAT?! Yes!! So obvious, yet WOWWWW!!!
Wow for me too!! I felt like Jules was speaking directly to my soul right there. Love to be on the receiving end with you, Cassidy! 🤍
Loved this one!
We love Jules! 🎊 thank you for reading!
Dear K. and Jules, Reading about the working conditions you’ve described feels like stepping into a different world from my German perspective. Here, such expectations would fall under the category of exploitation, not employment.
In Germany, our labor laws, particularly the *Arbeitszeitgesetz* (Working Time Act), are designed to protect employees from exactly this kind of overwork. By law, we’re limited to 8 hours of work per day, which can only be extended to 10 if the average over six months remains 8 hours daily. The idea of regularly requiring 60-hour weeks, especially including weekends, would not only be considered unhealthy but also illegal. Employers violating these rules face significant fines, and in severe cases, even criminal charges.
Your accounts of panic attacks and extreme overtime highlight just how critical such protections are. I’ve personally experienced what happens when those limits aren’t respected—I’ve worked 150-hour weeks in the past due to my own trauma responses, and I know how devastating that level of overwork can be for both body and mind. These laws exist because overwork isn’t just unsustainable; it’s harmful to health and well-being.
It’s hard for me to comprehend how such conditions are accepted, even normalized, in some parts of the world. I hope that sharing this perspective doesn’t come across as judgmental—it’s simply baffling to see how differently work-life balance is viewed and legislated elsewhere. My heart goes out to anyone enduring such demands, and I deeply admire your strength, Jules, in setting boundaries, even within this system.
Thank you, K., for hosting these essential conversations about people-pleasing and boundary-setting. It’s a discussion we need everywhere, and I’m grateful for the courage it takes to address these issues so openly.
Sending you both lots of respect and warmth,
Jay
Love you Jay. Here’s to finding balance in our work and life. It can feel difficult to separate ourselves from the dollar, especially when the cost of living continues to rise. Places like substack are solace to me in these times. 🤍
Thank you, K. Love you too. 🤍
Yes, balance feels elusive, especially when the rising cost of living keeps us tethered so tightly to systems that don’t nurture us. It’s like we’re all caught in this relentless cycle, but stepping back—truly stepping back—can reveal so much more.
It reminds me of the mountain meditation by Jon Kabat Zinn.
When I envision myself as the mountain, steady and eternal, it shifts my entire perspective. The mountain weathers everything—storms, sunshine, fog, the wildflowers blooming on its slopes, and even the leaves that fall to nurture its soil. It just is, sitting there, uninfluenced by the chaos around it.
From its peak, I can see my life, my traumas, and even larger forces, like the rise of leaders such as DT, with clarity.
From this vantage point, I could understand how my trauma unfolded and how it connected to the systems that enabled such an event. It’s unsettling to realize how inevitable it all feels when viewed from this height, as though the strain in our systems was always bound to crack and give way.
And yet, from this perspective, I also see how these fractures might push us forward. As Mark Nepo so wisely says, we have to let go of what we’re holding onto—no matter how tightly—to step through the door into something new.
This applies not just to individuals but to nations and societies as a whole. The process is painful, and unfortunately, I believe it will get worse before it gets better—not just in the US, but across the Western world. The ripples of these changes will inevitably touch other parts of the globe, reshaping us all.
Yet, like the mountain, we endure. Sitting still through the storms, fog, and sunshine, we remain, finding strength and wisdom in our stillness.
Thank you for being part of these essential conversations, K. Sharing these reflections with others who understand gives me hope for what’s possible beyond the horizon.
I’m so grateful for places like Substack, where we can find solace and connection amidst it all. Sharing these thoughts with others who understand and care makes the weight of it all feel just a little lighter.