My Precious!!

I bought a ring & it's changing my life

Welcome to DPP, a weekly newsletter about the real life trials and tribulations of pleasing, and how I leverage emotional intelligence for proper recovery. Letters land on Tuesdays, please allow me a first-class seat with your inbox?

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November 25, 2024, I bought a ring.

Not just any ring. I made a splurge of a purchase (to me) on something I learned about (and wrote about!!) earlier this year.

I like gemstones. I am half-in-half-out when it comes to believing in their healing/aligning/soul-nourishing abilities. The saga I’m about to tell you will seem more like I am a gemstone fanatic, waiting for the next slice of rose quartz to beam me up. Is that really who I am now? Maybe.

I learned about moldavite at the start of summer and was immediately enchanted. I don’t remember where or how I learned about it, but I remember being so love-struck, I wrote about it. That’s how I know, that you know, that I mean business.

Here’s the first mention of my new love:

Who Are You, Really?

Moldavite is not actually a stone. It’s a meteorite. Born of the stars. If you are not drooling, please leave now. It only gets worse from here.

I learned back in June that moldavite was a meteorite that crashed into Earth over 15 million years ago. I knew it would be difficult and expensive to purchase. I told myself to wait for it to find me. Make it a bucket list purchase, for when I’ve won the lottery.

Monday, November 25th, the stars aligned! Typically, August is my administrative assistant (hilarious because I am actually his) every Monday- but this particular Monday, his former Daycare babysitter had reached out to spend some time with him. A WFH Monday without an attention-deprived, screen-saturated, evil tyrant, toddler joining all my work calls?? I’ll take it!! (For anyone worried, August does go to preschool T-F. They don’t use screens. I tell myself there’s balance. Let me have this.)

So, I did my work in the most amount of peace an HR rep could ask for, and wrapped up my day. Since Augie was taken care of, I took myself on a walk. I took myself down Newport Lane, the main street in my town, Ocean Beach. I let myself enjoy window shopping through surf shops until I got to the end of the street. There’s a little indoor area with a few shops inside. It has local coffee, a hair salon, and a gem shop. The gem shop has incredibly inconvenient hours of operation, much like all businesses in OB. It’s part of the charm!

The Philosopher’s Stone. IT WAS OPEN?! OMG. I walked into the shop and circled around just totally overcome with glee. I knew that I was here for something. I could feel it!! I asked the shopkeeper if they had any moldavite. You already know, they did.

I was accompanied over to the glass display cabinet where they kept it, locked away, safe from any potential thievery.

They had quite the selection for a meteorite that collided with Earth millions of years ago! They had pendants for necklaces, earrings and rings as well. I’m a ring girl, and as far as jewelry goes, I’m a golden girl. I love gold. Not so much silver- EXCEPT for rings!! I wear only silver rings on my right hand. The owner asked what I wanted to see, and diligently pulled out the ring box when I requested. There were several small rings, a cute pinky ring, and then I found her. Or, she found me.

A ring, for my ring finger. Silver banded. The cut of the moldavite is triangular. I happen to LOVE triangles. There’s some really cool info on the spiritual meaning of triangles if you are interested. I like the whole notion of balancing “body, mind, spirit”.

I slid the triangle-shaped, silver band, moldavite ring on my finger and the shopkeeper and I both knew. There was a buzz in the air. She would be coming home with me.

I coughed up the angel-number cost, ($123) and basically floated back out to the street.

I have worn the ring non-stop ever since.

So, let’s talk about some of the woo-woo properties of Moldavite.

Disclosure: I’m embarrassed to share Moldavite properties because I don’t want anyone reading to think I am self-obsessed, but I honestly can’t control how you perceive me and have to just be ALRIGHT with knowing I can’t control if you like me or not. (Just so you know, this is basically the hardest task for people-pleasers to achieve. We need you to love us.)

Now that you know that, and possibly hate me- here’s what the little paper that came with my new ring says about it:

Just so we are clear I do not think myself of radiating any kind of “extremely high vibration”. I am drawn to the material perhaps because I need a higher vibration material to keep me from sinking into the depths of my own despair.

I purchased the ring, popped it on my finger, and forgot about it (like most things I add to my life). Well, great news; the ring didn’t forget about ME.

In the weeks since wearing this meteorite/stone, my life has begun to develop at an accelerated rate:

As a people-pleaser, doing what is right by me is incredibly difficult if it means pivoting away from those in my life. And, honestly, most of the time I am not even self-aware enough to know what I want. I’m so used to “going with the flow”, I am new to asking myself this question. **Don’t mind the fact I’ve been writing about people-pleasing for a year now. Growth comes with expanding and contracting. let’s just say I have been contracted for a minute.

Moldavite has helped, but it’s been painful.

You know that quote, “Your new life is going to cost you your old one”?? (I think this is a Brianna Wiest quote but not totally sure). This theme of uprooting my current patterns and unconscious way of living has been majorly prompted. I both grant credit to and blame, the ring.

In the past few weeks, I have been challenged to say “No” as a full sentence to my family members. I have been challenged to say “No” at work (?!?!?!?!?!?!). If I had a social circle of in-the-flesh-friends, I would have said “No” to them too. It has been THE MOST uncomfortable in-the-moment learning. I have cried. A lot.

This whole sentiment goes back to my recent letter about Amy Poehler’s Masterclass where I realized that saying “No” to someone else can be understood as saying “Yes” to myself.

WOW. IT. IS. WILD.

—> No, I won’t be joining that party.

—> No, I won’t be attending the meeting that should only be a 10-character email.

—> No, we will not be having chips for breakfast. (Sorry Augie- I love you so much!!)

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What’s Happening Now?

After all the external “No thank yous”, I was silently led to an internal “YES, PLEASE”.

Again I blame the ring. In the best way.

I have owned the book, The Artists Way, for just over two years. I ordered it and never felt moved to actually read it, so it has been sitting on my shelf with a myriad of other abandoned books waiting for their time to be appreciated.

On December 1, a voice from within me (moldavite- is that you??) told me to get up out of bed, and grab it. I complied. I cracked it open and started reading. I decided that VERY evening to commit to the 12-week program built into the pages. The moment felt right. I am on day 9 as I write this.

The Artists Way is a book not only for writers, but for ALL creatives who may have forgotten how to tune-in and craft. The book has two non-negotiables:

1. Write your Morning Pages: 3 full pages, as soon as you wake up, stream-of-consciousnous-style, every. single. day. Don’t skip.

2. Take yourself on an Artist Date 1x/week. NOT OPTIONAL. & this time should be spent alone.

I struggled with commiting to the second requirement. I don’t have loads of free time on my hands, and I am also on a budget. I asked the Notes universe of Substack here where I should go or what I should try and got a few really cool suggestions. I’ll share them as I try them out and credit those who gave me the ideas.

This past week I was able to crawl out to the cliffs of Ocean Beach, and watch the waves crash over my dumper-fire-thoughts after a hair-brained day at work.

Julia Cameron (author) says that the two required activities are like a yin-yang to our creative recovery.

These are my own words and interpretation of her teaching as to why we need to practice BOTH activities: The morning pages are similar to an exhale- brain-dumping all that is swimming in our mind. Releasing it all onto the page lets it out of our subconscious and may lead to surprising discoveries of ourselves and our dreams that we laid to rest (aka: died) decades ago. Then, we have the Artist Dates, which would be the inhale to our creative needs. We take in colors, ideas, flavors, and ideas to replenish all we have released in our morning page exhales. The dates are restorative, in the opposite way.

Both activities truly are HARD requirements not suggestions. Practicing both is like breathing. Can’t only inhale and survive. Can’t only exhale. Gotta be both!!

Here’s the view from my first date:

I have never made such a commitment to myself. I have made plenty of promises to myself that I didn’t keep due to people-pleasing, or deluding myself with the notion that doing something for me would be selfish- wrong.

As far as EQ goes, I am viewing this program as a practice in both the first and second pillars: self-awareness (via the morning pages) and self-management (both with the pages and artist dates). By brain-dumping in my morning pages, I hope to uncover some unconscious creative wants or needs to explore. In my dates, I hope to harness some creativity that helps to rejuvenate my blocks to creativity and also regulate my cortisol levels which have been off the charts just like the rest of humanity these days.

I am course-correcting with this program, and will likely share little bursts of inspiration with you here as I go along for the next couple of months. You may see some (more) changes in my writing!

If you have read/practiced The Artists Way before and have nuggets of wisdom to share, I’d LOVE to hear, or any Artist Date suggestions- ALL EARS!

From the precious meteorite that crashed 15 billion years ago, to your inbox,

K. Alexandra