I’ve lived in the space of people-pleasing for most of my life, trying to keep the peace, make others feel heard, even if it meant sacrificing my own truth. Like you, I often found myself agreeing to things I didn’t really want, just to avoid confrontation or make someone feel comfortable.
And it wasn’t me driving—I was just a passenger, letting the fear of not being accepted take control.
For a long time, I couldn’t stop the pattern.
I saw it happening, knew I should stop, but couldn’t just flip a switch. I realized the embodied reaction was already running before my mind even caught up, keeping me stuck in a reactionary state. I’d want to say something, stand my ground, but that little fearful part of me was already running the show, before I even knew it—ready to avoid discomfort at any cost.
Eventually, I started digging deeper.
I realized the version of me driving the car wasn’t my true self. It was a corrupted version, acting out of deep fear, trying to avoid being hurt. It became clear I needed to meet this part of me, initiate a connection. I had to stop running from it and start listening to what it was trying to protect me from. Because it became clear. It was trying to protect itself.
Through that, I discovered a scared little child inside me.
She was terrified—shy, distrustful, always hiding away, unsure who to trust, and felt like she belonged nowhee. For the longest time, I didn’t even know she was there.
And once I did, I began the long process of giving her the attention, compassion and care she needed. It wasn’t easy. It was uncomfortable. and it was necessary.
I finally reached a point where I could hold space for her and began the process of integration. I'd met my inner child in those traumatic moments. I saw her, heard her, and gave her everything she hadn’t received as a child: validation, comfort, safety, compassion, and support.
And I found that by integrating my experiences, I disabled the automatic responses that had once controlled me. I wasn’t reacting anymore. I was choosing to show up in a way rooted more and more in my true self.
Through a lot of work, and help, yes, actually from you and the other Lovelets, I came to a place where I no longer reacted from fear and panic and the deep feeling of being an imposition and maybe even a disgrace and found the last part of my once unreachable inner self.
Now I am in the driver’s seat, living my truth. I’d done the work to integrate old wounds, and now I move through life with stability and trust in myself.
If you’re interested, I’d be happy to share more about how I got there, because I know how important it is to find that power within.
Keep trusting yourself, K. You’re already on the right path.
Jay, thank you so much for seeing me and making me feel less alone! Inner child work is something that I continue to chip away at and I resonate with your words of being afraid and unable to trust so deeply. I would love to hear more about how you began to integrate your experiences. 💓
K., I hear you. Inner child work is layered, and integration is not something that happens overnight. It took time, patience, and a lot of internal dialogue before I could even begin to hold space for those parts of me.
I’d love to talk about it (even through Meet or Zoom) if you’d like. What part of the process feels most present for you right now? Which part are you most curious about?
Yessss. I feel this viscerally. So much beautiful wisdom emanating from your post. 🥹🥹🥹 Thank you so much for sharing your healing and growth, because it inspires the same in me. 🙏
Also, this line: "Instead of falling into self-loathing (that’s so a thing of the distant past known as this morning)" LOLOL. Ma'am the accuracyyyyyy. 😅
K., I really feel what you’re saying.
I’ve lived in the space of people-pleasing for most of my life, trying to keep the peace, make others feel heard, even if it meant sacrificing my own truth. Like you, I often found myself agreeing to things I didn’t really want, just to avoid confrontation or make someone feel comfortable.
And it wasn’t me driving—I was just a passenger, letting the fear of not being accepted take control.
For a long time, I couldn’t stop the pattern.
I saw it happening, knew I should stop, but couldn’t just flip a switch. I realized the embodied reaction was already running before my mind even caught up, keeping me stuck in a reactionary state. I’d want to say something, stand my ground, but that little fearful part of me was already running the show, before I even knew it—ready to avoid discomfort at any cost.
Eventually, I started digging deeper.
I realized the version of me driving the car wasn’t my true self. It was a corrupted version, acting out of deep fear, trying to avoid being hurt. It became clear I needed to meet this part of me, initiate a connection. I had to stop running from it and start listening to what it was trying to protect me from. Because it became clear. It was trying to protect itself.
Through that, I discovered a scared little child inside me.
She was terrified—shy, distrustful, always hiding away, unsure who to trust, and felt like she belonged nowhee. For the longest time, I didn’t even know she was there.
And once I did, I began the long process of giving her the attention, compassion and care she needed. It wasn’t easy. It was uncomfortable. and it was necessary.
I finally reached a point where I could hold space for her and began the process of integration. I'd met my inner child in those traumatic moments. I saw her, heard her, and gave her everything she hadn’t received as a child: validation, comfort, safety, compassion, and support.
And I found that by integrating my experiences, I disabled the automatic responses that had once controlled me. I wasn’t reacting anymore. I was choosing to show up in a way rooted more and more in my true self.
Through a lot of work, and help, yes, actually from you and the other Lovelets, I came to a place where I no longer reacted from fear and panic and the deep feeling of being an imposition and maybe even a disgrace and found the last part of my once unreachable inner self.
Now I am in the driver’s seat, living my truth. I’d done the work to integrate old wounds, and now I move through life with stability and trust in myself.
If you’re interested, I’d be happy to share more about how I got there, because I know how important it is to find that power within.
Keep trusting yourself, K. You’re already on the right path.
Love You. xoxo
Jay, thank you so much for seeing me and making me feel less alone! Inner child work is something that I continue to chip away at and I resonate with your words of being afraid and unable to trust so deeply. I would love to hear more about how you began to integrate your experiences. 💓
K., I hear you. Inner child work is layered, and integration is not something that happens overnight. It took time, patience, and a lot of internal dialogue before I could even begin to hold space for those parts of me.
I’d love to talk about it (even through Meet or Zoom) if you’d like. What part of the process feels most present for you right now? Which part are you most curious about?
Yessss. I feel this viscerally. So much beautiful wisdom emanating from your post. 🥹🥹🥹 Thank you so much for sharing your healing and growth, because it inspires the same in me. 🙏
Also, this line: "Instead of falling into self-loathing (that’s so a thing of the distant past known as this morning)" LOLOL. Ma'am the accuracyyyyyy. 😅
Megannnnnn 🤍✨ I am sick as a cricket with the flu (tg for pre-set newsletter delivery amiright?! 😂)
It’s the first time in a few days I can open my eyes and READ.
Your comment holds the weight of a thousand Grammy awards. Thank you for reading.
Here’s to throwing the loathing out the window!! Xx
Omg FEEL BETTER SOON!!!!! 🥹
So honored to shine your light back towards you! ✨ 💕🫶
I loved reading about this internal journey you are on. This is “the work!” It’s so dang hard to change our patterns but so rewarding in the end!
Thank you for bearing witness and being such unwavering support, LK. 🤍🤍 The work is hard, but the rewards are worth it. I’m soldiering on!
I so get this and feel it deeply. ♥️
🥹✨🫂 I can feel your heart through the screen and you’ve always had a presence about you that has made me (and likely everyone) feel special and safe.
That is a high compliment my friend. I’m so grateful I make you feel that way. ♥️
I love this. Feel it. Thanks