Loved this one!!!! I too agree that you never have to give a reason for your no or your boundary but it does feel better as you start out learning how to do these things. Eventually, maybe, you can just say your no or state your boundary and move on. I am always always working on this one…
Thank you for reading and commenting, Lindsey!! Your writing resonates with me and I love when your letters hit my inbox, honored to have you over here. I’ll be working on the boundaries and explanations too…all in good time.
I’m thinking of starting a Self-Care Support Thread where we can come together and cheer one another on for carving out time for ourselves- I would love to know some of your SC practices! ♥️✨
What I learned over time is that saying 'No' to someone, is not a rejection of them. It's saying 'Yes' to myself. The problem I often had to face is (despite my explanations, that were often used against me) that the one I said 'No' to already felt (unconsiously) rejected. So whatever I said or did, their reaction had nothing to do with me. They were already angry or saddened and didn't realized they were feeling this way. For me realizing this was already eye opening and mind changing.
It freed me from being responsible for their reaction and emotions. Because I am not, it's theirs.
It was still (and is) a 'job' to deal with the reactions and emotions, because when it's unconsciously projected it always comes with shaming and blaming the messenger.
So when someone doesn't want to hear your answer, you've done a great job, awakening the unconsciousness of someone else. Inviting them to become conscious living beings:)
The most difficult thing to do is always to figure out if I my 'No' is a reaction on a sadness or anger inside myself (or other emotion, there are plenty!), or if my 'No' was an honest one.
Being aware of your own needs and then honoring yourself by not putting those aside just to win approval from someone or to be seen as the hero is not easy, but oh so liberating! Great advice!
This was really great K!
Thank you for stopping by Mesa K!! ✨🤍
Loved this one!!!! I too agree that you never have to give a reason for your no or your boundary but it does feel better as you start out learning how to do these things. Eventually, maybe, you can just say your no or state your boundary and move on. I am always always working on this one…
Thank you for reading and commenting, Lindsey!! Your writing resonates with me and I love when your letters hit my inbox, honored to have you over here. I’ll be working on the boundaries and explanations too…all in good time.
I’m thinking of starting a Self-Care Support Thread where we can come together and cheer one another on for carving out time for ourselves- I would love to know some of your SC practices! ♥️✨
Awww thank you so much! 😊 I would love to participate! I’ll look for it!
What I learned over time is that saying 'No' to someone, is not a rejection of them. It's saying 'Yes' to myself. The problem I often had to face is (despite my explanations, that were often used against me) that the one I said 'No' to already felt (unconsiously) rejected. So whatever I said or did, their reaction had nothing to do with me. They were already angry or saddened and didn't realized they were feeling this way. For me realizing this was already eye opening and mind changing.
It freed me from being responsible for their reaction and emotions. Because I am not, it's theirs.
It was still (and is) a 'job' to deal with the reactions and emotions, because when it's unconsciously projected it always comes with shaming and blaming the messenger.
So when someone doesn't want to hear your answer, you've done a great job, awakening the unconsciousness of someone else. Inviting them to become conscious living beings:)
The most difficult thing to do is always to figure out if I my 'No' is a reaction on a sadness or anger inside myself (or other emotion, there are plenty!), or if my 'No' was an honest one.
Alja!! “When it’s unconsciously projected it always comes with shaming and blaming the messenger”
Poetry you write.
Thank you so much for this food for thought. 🍎
Being aware of your own needs and then honoring yourself by not putting those aside just to win approval from someone or to be seen as the hero is not easy, but oh so liberating! Great advice!
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment and for being here Jennifer!! 💛