20 Comments
User's avatar
Mika's avatar

It’s a delicate one, but I love how much you emphasised how awesome it is that the MIL reached out and the relationship that is there.

It’s so interesting that we get all twisty and uncomfortable to push back on a request.

This is because our go to is “yes”.

If you can possibly do it, it’s “yes”.

Without even checking in to see if that it’s ok with us or serves us.

Well, that’s certainly been my experience! 😅

So the twisty, uncomfortable feeling is “do I have a voice?” “Are my needs valid?” “Can I voice my needs?” “Is it safe to voice my needs?”

Always wondering the impact on others, often before ourselves.

So here’s the fellow people-pleasers, wrapping our arms around this mother and saying, “yes, your needs are valid and yes, it’s ok to state your needs”💕

Expand full comment
kaylen alexandra's avatar

🥹🩷 Mika I feel your love and support through the screen. Thank you for sharing your experience and being here with us for all involved!

Expand full comment
Megan Lee's avatar

Miss K... YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY AN AMAZING ADVICE GIVER!!! 🥹 I'm so glad to be here to witness this beautifulness. 💕

Expand full comment
kaylen alexandra's avatar

🥹🙏🥹🤍🥰

Ty Ty Ty for all the validation and best most juicy support of me over the times and for showing up here for sMothered & me both!!

Expand full comment
Constellations In Her Bones's avatar

Humor: I had an Auntie who called her in-laws “Outlaws” lol. Just some boundary humor.

Expand full comment
kaylen alexandra's avatar

LOL I love that!! 😂

Expand full comment
Constellations In Her Bones's avatar

She was a funny lady and sensitive too! 😂

Expand full comment
Chris Anselmo's avatar

You need an advice column, preferably one that allows you to strikethrough text! This is such a great answer.

Expand full comment
kaylen alexandra's avatar

🫂 TY for reading & supporting!

Expand full comment
Amy Gabrielle's avatar

You are my new guru, and I will come to you for advise on all my life decisions. You may think I'm kidding, but I really need your wisdom.

My jaw dropped open when I read that your MIL died when your husband was a senior in high school. Not only did Steven's mother die when he was a senior in h.s., but I literally just wrote about that in the story I published about 30 minutes ago.

Steven's father remarried soon after and was married to his second wife (my MIL) for 30 years before he died in June 2020. Such a coincidence!

Expand full comment
kaylen alexandra's avatar

Amy this is wild!! I bet all the MILs have a club up there. Thank you so much for sharing with me. And- for the record- I need your wisdom too. I can’t wait to read the story you published today!! 🤍

Expand full comment
Kendall Lamb's avatar

There's so much goodness in this brilliant, sassy, super empathetic advice! 👏 ❤️✨️YES to celebrating anybody who wants to spend their wild and precious life in our presence! And a hardy HELL NO to driving eight hours round trip with an unpredictable, needy, adorable, cant-sit-still-for-more-than-ten-minutes one year old! I don't know this MIL's situation, but can we please normalize grandparents coming TO the parents of littles? (Asking for a friend...) Love you and this!

Expand full comment
kaylen alexandra's avatar

Kendall!! I hope sMothered sees this and feeling your incredible support of the situation and her wellness through the screen. Thank you for your love and wisdom - YES on traveling to the baby!! Makes so much more sense in my mind! Thank you thank you, love you xx 🫎

Expand full comment
kaylen alexandra's avatar

Checking it out now!

Expand full comment
Constellations In Her Bones's avatar

Sage guidance and heart-centered storytelling, K.!

Expand full comment
kaylen alexandra's avatar

🥹 Ty CHIB 🙏

Expand full comment
Constellations In Her Bones's avatar

Of course 🙏🏽💛

Expand full comment
Mesa Fama's avatar

So much great wisdom here! Well done, K! Keep up the great work!! Xoxo

Expand full comment