Oooh you’ve always got me doing some inward reflecting after reading your words and I love it!!! 🙏 Over the years, my lil people pleasing self got quite good at mirroring… playing the “passive” role was my star act! And it’s still usually my default in new social interactions (utterly shameful I know) yet… I love looking at it from this angle. There’s a difference between being passive and empathetic mirroring, and, it is a song and dance… sometimes *I* can be the one being mirrored, and that’s perfectly beautiful, accept it, woman!!! <- me to me 😄🙏💛💛
Chris, read it!! Even if you think these are your strengths (I sort of do 👀), it is riveting to hear these stories and learn from the results. Just 10/10 in my book. It’s on Audible, too!!
Priceless.....To be able to clash & match (in fashion this would be mixing leopard print with ti-dye while somehow pulling it off), takes practice. It is easy to let our emotions rule our behavior, and escalate into yelling, retreating, or …mutiny. Our goal here is to manage the standing relationship- not lose it, or become lost in it.!
You have no idea... but I wear clashing tones quite often...that sort of made me giggle- maybe I am doing something right, right?
When I was in sales I was constantly taught to mirror, which is essentially the same as match, but it was a little bit hard for me.. I feel like I wanted to be the one mirrored instead of doing the mirroring.. that’s the control part of me!
This piece really helped me see how to shift my perspective! Thank you, K!! 😍😍
Oh wow, I loved this post so much! I have (as a professional people pleaser) been far too skilled in making myself a chameleon in the past in order to feel safe. This is like a nuanced suoer-power version of that which does not require any shape shifting on a soul-level. I'm going to need ot ruminate on this allllll day. Thank you, friend! ✨️🙏♥️
I needed to ruminate too!! It feels SO similar to pleasing … without the abandonment of our actual feelings?? 😂 I think I’ll be working on this assignment for the rest of my days. Thank you for reading!! Love you! 🤍
Oooh you’ve always got me doing some inward reflecting after reading your words and I love it!!! 🙏 Over the years, my lil people pleasing self got quite good at mirroring… playing the “passive” role was my star act! And it’s still usually my default in new social interactions (utterly shameful I know) yet… I love looking at it from this angle. There’s a difference between being passive and empathetic mirroring, and, it is a song and dance… sometimes *I* can be the one being mirrored, and that’s perfectly beautiful, accept it, woman!!! <- me to me 😄🙏💛💛
I relate to being the PPP (passive people pleaser) on so many levels. Time to Pivot!
P.s. I need to talk to you about Fleabag. I finished it and am crawling around in hopes of something to FILL THE VOID.
Pivot!!! Omg ma’am I am messaging you!!! 🙏🙏
Ahhh I've been meaning to read that book. I think matching is one of the things I'm good at, although I never knew what it was until you explained it!
Chris, read it!! Even if you think these are your strengths (I sort of do 👀), it is riveting to hear these stories and learn from the results. Just 10/10 in my book. It’s on Audible, too!!
Will do! I need accountability so check in with me in a month :)
*pencils in calendar 📆
See you then!
😬
Priceless.....To be able to clash & match (in fashion this would be mixing leopard print with ti-dye while somehow pulling it off), takes practice. It is easy to let our emotions rule our behavior, and escalate into yelling, retreating, or …mutiny. Our goal here is to manage the standing relationship- not lose it, or become lost in it.!
You have no idea... but I wear clashing tones quite often...that sort of made me giggle- maybe I am doing something right, right?
Not simply something Diana. Everything. You’re nailing all of it! 🔥❤️
When I was in sales I was constantly taught to mirror, which is essentially the same as match, but it was a little bit hard for me.. I feel like I wanted to be the one mirrored instead of doing the mirroring.. that’s the control part of me!
This piece really helped me see how to shift my perspective! Thank you, K!! 😍😍
You just put words to the feeling I was taught in Sales too!! Mirror-ing! OMG! Lightbulb moment right here lol.
Thank you for reading!! <3
You’re welcome!! You wicked smart woman!! 😍😍😍
Also- 10/10 on the examples!!
🤣 "MY EYES!!!"
My most favorite gif to use! 🤣🤣🤣
Oh wow, I loved this post so much! I have (as a professional people pleaser) been far too skilled in making myself a chameleon in the past in order to feel safe. This is like a nuanced suoer-power version of that which does not require any shape shifting on a soul-level. I'm going to need ot ruminate on this allllll day. Thank you, friend! ✨️🙏♥️
I needed to ruminate too!! It feels SO similar to pleasing … without the abandonment of our actual feelings?? 😂 I think I’ll be working on this assignment for the rest of my days. Thank you for reading!! Love you! 🤍
I feel like it's a very worthy life long assignment!