Let’s talk about Self-Care. As givers, we need to practice it- but making time to do so is HARD! This thread will be dedicated to SUPPORTING one another in our practice to do things for ourselves.
To play:
Tell us who you are, and if you write on Substack- share your publication name!
Share one thing you’ve done for yourself this week to practice self-care.
Extra credit: Cheer on another person’s journey to self-care by replying to their comment. This is a support group- let’s support our fellow recovering people-pleasers!
I will go first. My name is K. Alexandra. I write Dear People Pleasers- a weekly newsletter about the importance of learning emotional intelligence as a form of self-care. This week was EXTRA wild at work! I am in Human Resources with a non-profit…that means procedures and expectations live in the grey area for many processes. I leaned into my daily SIP OF COFFEE. I took out my coveted, expensive, Ethiopian Supernatural beans and poured myself a special serving into my ceramic mug that a friend made for me. Allowing myself to enjoy the treat helped ease some of the stress of my workload simply because I *treated myself* (has anyone seen Parks & Rec?)
Please join me in sharing one thing (or two, or three!!) that you did to practice some self-care below.
I'm Kate, and I write Repurposed Kate at https://repurposedkate.substack.com where I am documenting my first year of recovery from childhood trauma, codependency, abuse, and my ongoing divorce. I also write about my job on a cattle ranch and post lots of pictures of baby cows.
Working on the ranch often involves operating heavy equipment, such as tractors, mowers, 18-wheelers, 4-wheelers, and UTVs. Because all of the equipment is loud, I spend a lot of time listening to podcasts through my earbuds. I've been using the same podcast app for years, but it's going away at the end of the month. This week, My self-care activity was exporting my subscriptions from the old app and importing them to a new one. After I found a player I think I'm going to like and imported my data, I took some time to weed out programs I no longer listen to or that stopped producing new content.
This might not seem like self-care, but the day my old podcast app is retired would have been bad for me if I hadn't installed a new player by then. It would have been tragic if I had lost my subscription data. Crisis averted; sanity assured. Also, I am the worst at self-care.
Kate!! Hi!! I’m honored to see you here. Proactive vs reactive planning IS self care- look at you!! Thank you so much for stopping by.
Anyone who happens to read this: Kate just published a newsletter about People Pleasing that hits home on ALL the levels. Click her link and feast your eyes. ✨🐞
I love this - finding a new player, the research, the downloads, the new passwordssss! It's a lot. But like you said, you started the process early, now more podcasts!
I couldn't name a single "favorite-favorite." Good thing you didn't ask for just one.
I listen to a LOT of podcasts. Depending on my mood and the activity, you could probably catch me listening to:
Bawk Talk and Crazy Chicken People (about raising backyard chickens),
Old Fashioned on Purpose or Simple Farmhouse Life (homesteading),
Goal Digger or Smart Passive Income (Entrepreneurship/Making Money Online),
The Moth or Prairie Home Companion (Storytelling),
Stuff You Should Know, Ologies with Alie Ward and TED Talks Daily (These fit the same mood, but I don't know how to 'genre them together'...),
A Way With Words, Writing Excuses, or The Shit No One Tells You About Writing (linguistics and writing),
Clutterbug (cleaning and organizing tips),
Ranch It Up or Casual Cattle Conversations (modern ranching),
ADDICTION AND CODEPENDENCY BREAKTHROUGH with Heidi Rain or The Adult Chair (codependency patterns and recovery--this is my most populated genre, followed by homesteading and chickens combined)
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck and Modern Wisdom (thought leader interviews on culture, politics, fame, and the internet--is this a genre?)
I don't allow politics to stink up my Substack, but I listen to quite a few political commentaries from "both sides of the aisle."
I left a comment earlier how I DIDN'T run, and just walked. And then last night I REALLY didn't want to run, but I did it, and it was fine! Absolutely felt better afterwards
Oooooo I'm in HR too!! And the last two days have been bananas!! Something in the air? Water? 🫠 I am this emoji 🫠 forever 🫠🤣
I haven't treated myself yet! But my plan is to treat myself in the morning with a coffee from my favorite place (Bad Owl coffee shop) and I'm going to read for as many hours as I want to!
And I agree with you on the importance of taking care of ourselves, I always forget that my needs matter too!! Thank you for the reminder 🫶🏻♥️
If you’d asked me yesterday if I could love you MORE, the answer would have been no. Somehow you peel back these layers that I didn’t even realize were there, Mesa!!
#godspeed to all us HR folks.
You are amazing & i love you endlessly.
I hope your coffee and reads are restorative in the best way!!
Hi Chris!! :) I read all kinds of things, I was just reading Big Magic (about creativity), I also just picked up Lyz Lenz's new book This American Ex-wife (memoir), and I'm a huge Sarah Maas fan (A Court of Thorns and Roses series). I'm always open to suggestions too. Big Dean Koontz and Stephen King fan, Neil Gaiman too.
I'm a huge Stephen King fan as well. Have you ever read his book, On Writing? One of my favorite writing books. I like to read nonfiction mostly. I love reading history and personal development-type books. Currently reading The Splendid and the Vile about the blitz.
Ahhhh YESSSS!! The old couples are so sweet ♥️♥️ I love how twinkly they get when I catch their eye, like they know they've been seen and they just send a knowing joy your way 🙃
Hi my name's Casper and I'm a recovering people pleaser (and perfectionist).
I write https://thethoughtlibrary.substack.com/ which covers a number of things from late diagnosed neurodivergence, CPTSD, mental health and generally working through this whole being a human thing.
This week I've been actually sleeping. Going to bed, going to sleep and waking up naturally at a relatively 'normal' time. For someone who's had insomnia for over 20 years and the impact of the lack/difficulty of sleep this is both a small thing and a huge thing. It's too early for it to have impacted other things just yet but it's something that is taking care of my brain, my self.
Love this idea by the way 😊 I hope everyone's acts of care for themselves keep going or help them do further acts 🌱
Casper- such a cool name. Thank you for sharing so openly your writing and your insomnia experiences. I’m so glad to read that this week gifted you some sleep and I hope that continues into next week and beyond. I am so happy yo meet you here. Thanks for highlighting what self care is to you! 🐞🤍🐞
I smiled when you mentioned the delicious Ethiopian Supernatural coffee beans from Peet’s ☺️ I can smell them again! I wanted to share that I was fighting a cold the whole week but my PTA program requires attendance. I was trying to survive lecture behind a mask. I workout 5 days a week but I missed a full week because of my cold. I went to the gym today with a friend even though I wanted to cancel on her. I told myself that I am feeling a little better and that I should have some girl time and get back to hitting leg day. I am very happy I did! I guess this self-care is not robbing myself from something I enjoy and good for me because I was lazy. Thank you for the good read! Have a great weekend🤍
Cheering you on for going and doing the thing!! I frequently find myself wanting to cancel when I've made plans and I end up pushing through and I'm always so glad I did!!
Vanessa *enter middle name here* Calhoun. I am CRYING to see your name here. With JOY of course. Just, in awe. Thank you SO MUCH for stopping by, for sharing your week of challenges like the vulnerable superstar that you are, and for setting the Self-Care bar so high!! Please receive my biggest hugs through the screen. 💚🐞💚
I'm Seth Werkheiser, but most people call me Seth W which I love. I write Social Media Escape Club.
This week it was soo nice out, and I've been very inconsistent with my running in recent months. And I thought, okay, TIME TO RUN. But instead of just walked three loops at one of my favorite parks, with no Apple Watch, no music, just walking and enjoying the warmer weather and listening to the birds - just vibes, ya know? haha
Seth!! You are the BESTEST- thank you thank you for your substack- YOU ARE THE REASON this thread exists! Everybody go follow Seth for tips to escape social media (not counting substack- of course)
I took a walk yesterday too- but I only did one loop. I’m going to try again today without a podcast- just enjoy zee sounds of nature (and traffic) 😂
I am so appreciative of your presence and kindness. 🐞🙏🐞
Hi Seth! I love sitting outside and listening to the birds. I used to always listen to music while outside but it's been nice to get away from the earbuds for awhile.
Hi! I love the comments here and everyone’s lovely support of one another. I am also recovering from people pleasing …one day at a time. I was on spring break with my kids this week. The weather was gorgeous. I took so much good care of myself by doing yard work, reading, and playing outdoor kitchen with my daughter and basketball with my son. This week reminded me that I did not need to go anywhere or spend money to take care of myself. Thanks for starting this, K! 🩵
Lindsey- thank you so much for joining the support group!! I love your Spring Break revelation about not needing to spend money to find joy- and - I would love to know what you are currently reading? 🐞📚🐞
I spoke up strongly to two "power over" situations . Still not sure it was the right thing to do, because it upset me and distracted me in ways I cannot afford in my life. Both these
Situations involved men with varying degrees
Of ability to listen . I am committed to getting
Better at this, and there are always consequences. I am in process of forgiving myself for the cost of doing this well.💕
Hi Carole- WOW. Brave woman we have here in the support group! Thanks so much for sharing that experience- I think all us people pleasers know what you are feeling and have struggled with internal desires to say more- but often don’t. Inspired. Keep us posted on how you are doing!! ✨🐞✨
Hi Carole! I know the feeling, that hangover so to speak, of not people pleasing and the fallout. I hope it got better for you and gets easier each time!
I’m Jennifer, and I’m a new Substack writer at One Divided by Zero (www.JenniferLeahMiller.substack.com). I’m also working on my first novel. By day I work with elementary students in special education. For self-care I journal, and lately I’ve been coloring and doodling on my iPad to relax at night.
I aim to do what it says on the tin - I want to open up the conversation about mental wellbeing, therapy, depression, toxic positivity, shame, and all of the related ugly and beautiful lumps and bumps.
This week I have made several self-care moves. I have taken myself on a mindful walk every morning for at least 20 minutes to expose myself to sunlight first-thing, which improves my mood SO much. I have been practicing compassionate self-dialogue in the mirror, especially when that inner critic comes with its old tricks. I have also been doing some slow yoga right before bed, which helps me to wind down/recover from workouts, and sleep so much better.
Thank you for the encouragement to highlight the need for putting our own oxygen masks on before others' in order to be of better service to the world! <3
My name is Chris and my Substack is Hello, Adversity (helloadversity.substack.com). Self-care for me is going outside and breathing in the fresh almost-spring air, even though it's not quiiiiite warm enough to spend extended time outside.
Brilliant thread!! I'll play along!
I'm Kate, and I write Repurposed Kate at https://repurposedkate.substack.com where I am documenting my first year of recovery from childhood trauma, codependency, abuse, and my ongoing divorce. I also write about my job on a cattle ranch and post lots of pictures of baby cows.
Working on the ranch often involves operating heavy equipment, such as tractors, mowers, 18-wheelers, 4-wheelers, and UTVs. Because all of the equipment is loud, I spend a lot of time listening to podcasts through my earbuds. I've been using the same podcast app for years, but it's going away at the end of the month. This week, My self-care activity was exporting my subscriptions from the old app and importing them to a new one. After I found a player I think I'm going to like and imported my data, I took some time to weed out programs I no longer listen to or that stopped producing new content.
This might not seem like self-care, but the day my old podcast app is retired would have been bad for me if I hadn't installed a new player by then. It would have been tragic if I had lost my subscription data. Crisis averted; sanity assured. Also, I am the worst at self-care.
Kate!! Hi!! I’m honored to see you here. Proactive vs reactive planning IS self care- look at you!! Thank you so much for stopping by.
Anyone who happens to read this: Kate just published a newsletter about People Pleasing that hits home on ALL the levels. Click her link and feast your eyes. ✨🐞
Thank you very much for the high praise! I truly appreciate it!
Sometimes it’s the organization of our self care activities that are also self care! 🤣
I love this - finding a new player, the research, the downloads, the new passwordssss! It's a lot. But like you said, you started the process early, now more podcasts!
Hi Kate! What are your favorite podcasts?
I couldn't name a single "favorite-favorite." Good thing you didn't ask for just one.
I listen to a LOT of podcasts. Depending on my mood and the activity, you could probably catch me listening to:
Bawk Talk and Crazy Chicken People (about raising backyard chickens),
Old Fashioned on Purpose or Simple Farmhouse Life (homesteading),
Goal Digger or Smart Passive Income (Entrepreneurship/Making Money Online),
The Moth or Prairie Home Companion (Storytelling),
Stuff You Should Know, Ologies with Alie Ward and TED Talks Daily (These fit the same mood, but I don't know how to 'genre them together'...),
A Way With Words, Writing Excuses, or The Shit No One Tells You About Writing (linguistics and writing),
Clutterbug (cleaning and organizing tips),
Ranch It Up or Casual Cattle Conversations (modern ranching),
ADDICTION AND CODEPENDENCY BREAKTHROUGH with Heidi Rain or The Adult Chair (codependency patterns and recovery--this is my most populated genre, followed by homesteading and chickens combined)
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck and Modern Wisdom (thought leader interviews on culture, politics, fame, and the internet--is this a genre?)
I don't allow politics to stink up my Substack, but I listen to quite a few political commentaries from "both sides of the aisle."
What do you listen to, Chris?
I am VictorGo and I write the Mental Science Blog, a blog about becoming more and more of Yourself.
The best thing I did for myself this week is workout even though I didn’t feel like it.
Thanks to everyone for sharing.
Thank you for being here Victor!
And kudos to prioritizing your workout. I took a quick walk yesterday since it’s lighter out later now and told myself to try and do that more often.
Glad to be here. You’ve got a kind community going here.
I left a comment earlier how I DIDN'T run, and just walked. And then last night I REALLY didn't want to run, but I did it, and it was fine! Absolutely felt better afterwards
Right on point.
“Remember how you will feel after the work is done .
that’s literally what I say to get myself to workout on those “I don’t want to do it” days.
Keep putting in the reps.
I am following you VictorGo
Thank you Carole. 🤗
Seek first to listen. Nice!
Following you.
Thanks for the follow Kati 🤗
I took myself to the chiropractor instead of grinning and bearing the pain in my lower back (as I usually would)! Much better now. :)
👏🏻 love an adjustment! It's been too long since I've been to the Chiro - a reminder for me to go! Glad you're doing better after going 😊
Heidi!!! 💛💛 thank you for being here! And I will be following up to find out if your Chiro is with SYH next week 😅
I love to hear you got that time for you & your spine! Wishing you the best weekend ahead. 🐞
Glad to hear you're feeling better!
Oooooo I'm in HR too!! And the last two days have been bananas!! Something in the air? Water? 🫠 I am this emoji 🫠 forever 🫠🤣
I haven't treated myself yet! But my plan is to treat myself in the morning with a coffee from my favorite place (Bad Owl coffee shop) and I'm going to read for as many hours as I want to!
And I agree with you on the importance of taking care of ourselves, I always forget that my needs matter too!! Thank you for the reminder 🫶🏻♥️
If you’d asked me yesterday if I could love you MORE, the answer would have been no. Somehow you peel back these layers that I didn’t even realize were there, Mesa!!
#godspeed to all us HR folks.
You are amazing & i love you endlessly.
I hope your coffee and reads are restorative in the best way!!
Thank you for stopping by 🙏
Ahhh K!! I love you!! I'm so grateful for you!!
Hi Mesa! What do you like to read?
Hi Chris!! :) I read all kinds of things, I was just reading Big Magic (about creativity), I also just picked up Lyz Lenz's new book This American Ex-wife (memoir), and I'm a huge Sarah Maas fan (A Court of Thorns and Roses series). I'm always open to suggestions too. Big Dean Koontz and Stephen King fan, Neil Gaiman too.
I could write about this all night! 🤣
What about you?
I'm a huge Stephen King fan as well. Have you ever read his book, On Writing? One of my favorite writing books. I like to read nonfiction mostly. I love reading history and personal development-type books. Currently reading The Splendid and the Vile about the blitz.
I did read his On Writing book, it's a favorite!! Thank you so much for asking about my favorite topic!! Your current read sounds really interesting!
Coffee shop hangs are one of my favorite self-care moves.
Okay mee tooo!! ☕️ 📚
The absolute best! I love to people watch while I'm there. My absolute favorite is watching people light up when they see people they know 😍
YESSSS. The "oh I haven't seen in you so long!!!" and the "how have you been!!?!?" Such joy.
I also enjoy seeing the old couples, with their coffee and their scones. They warm my heart.
Ahhhh YESSSS!! The old couples are so sweet ♥️♥️ I love how twinkly they get when I catch their eye, like they know they've been seen and they just send a knowing joy your way 🙃
Hi my name's Casper and I'm a recovering people pleaser (and perfectionist).
I write https://thethoughtlibrary.substack.com/ which covers a number of things from late diagnosed neurodivergence, CPTSD, mental health and generally working through this whole being a human thing.
This week I've been actually sleeping. Going to bed, going to sleep and waking up naturally at a relatively 'normal' time. For someone who's had insomnia for over 20 years and the impact of the lack/difficulty of sleep this is both a small thing and a huge thing. It's too early for it to have impacted other things just yet but it's something that is taking care of my brain, my self.
Love this idea by the way 😊 I hope everyone's acts of care for themselves keep going or help them do further acts 🌱
Casper- such a cool name. Thank you for sharing so openly your writing and your insomnia experiences. I’m so glad to read that this week gifted you some sleep and I hope that continues into next week and beyond. I am so happy yo meet you here. Thanks for highlighting what self care is to you! 🐞🤍🐞
Following you Casper Moore
Hi KK!
I smiled when you mentioned the delicious Ethiopian Supernatural coffee beans from Peet’s ☺️ I can smell them again! I wanted to share that I was fighting a cold the whole week but my PTA program requires attendance. I was trying to survive lecture behind a mask. I workout 5 days a week but I missed a full week because of my cold. I went to the gym today with a friend even though I wanted to cancel on her. I told myself that I am feeling a little better and that I should have some girl time and get back to hitting leg day. I am very happy I did! I guess this self-care is not robbing myself from something I enjoy and good for me because I was lazy. Thank you for the good read! Have a great weekend🤍
Hi Vanessa!!
Cheering you on for going and doing the thing!! I frequently find myself wanting to cancel when I've made plans and I end up pushing through and I'm always so glad I did!!
🫶🏻🫶🏻
Vanessa *enter middle name here* Calhoun. I am CRYING to see your name here. With JOY of course. Just, in awe. Thank you SO MUCH for stopping by, for sharing your week of challenges like the vulnerable superstar that you are, and for setting the Self-Care bar so high!! Please receive my biggest hugs through the screen. 💚🐞💚
I'm Seth Werkheiser, but most people call me Seth W which I love. I write Social Media Escape Club.
This week it was soo nice out, and I've been very inconsistent with my running in recent months. And I thought, okay, TIME TO RUN. But instead of just walked three loops at one of my favorite parks, with no Apple Watch, no music, just walking and enjoying the warmer weather and listening to the birds - just vibes, ya know? haha
Seth!! You are the BESTEST- thank you thank you for your substack- YOU ARE THE REASON this thread exists! Everybody go follow Seth for tips to escape social media (not counting substack- of course)
I took a walk yesterday too- but I only did one loop. I’m going to try again today without a podcast- just enjoy zee sounds of nature (and traffic) 😂
I am so appreciative of your presence and kindness. 🐞🙏🐞
Thank you so much - can't wait to see where this goes for you!
Hi Seth! I love sitting outside and listening to the birds. I used to always listen to music while outside but it's been nice to get away from the earbuds for awhile.
Yessss! Give your brain a break! Haha
Hi! I love the comments here and everyone’s lovely support of one another. I am also recovering from people pleasing …one day at a time. I was on spring break with my kids this week. The weather was gorgeous. I took so much good care of myself by doing yard work, reading, and playing outdoor kitchen with my daughter and basketball with my son. This week reminded me that I did not need to go anywhere or spend money to take care of myself. Thanks for starting this, K! 🩵
Lindsey- thank you so much for joining the support group!! I love your Spring Break revelation about not needing to spend money to find joy- and - I would love to know what you are currently reading? 🐞📚🐞
I spoke up strongly to two "power over" situations . Still not sure it was the right thing to do, because it upset me and distracted me in ways I cannot afford in my life. Both these
Situations involved men with varying degrees
Of ability to listen . I am committed to getting
Better at this, and there are always consequences. I am in process of forgiving myself for the cost of doing this well.💕
Hi Carole- WOW. Brave woman we have here in the support group! Thanks so much for sharing that experience- I think all us people pleasers know what you are feeling and have struggled with internal desires to say more- but often don’t. Inspired. Keep us posted on how you are doing!! ✨🐞✨
Hi Carole! I know the feeling, that hangover so to speak, of not people pleasing and the fallout. I hope it got better for you and gets easier each time!
Thanks Lindsey 🌹following you
I’m Jennifer, and I’m a new Substack writer at One Divided by Zero (www.JenniferLeahMiller.substack.com). I’m also working on my first novel. By day I work with elementary students in special education. For self-care I journal, and lately I’ve been coloring and doodling on my iPad to relax at night.
Hi Jennifer!! Your day job sounds incredibly fulfilling and I always love to connect with fellow journal-ers! Thank you for stopping by! 💚🐞💚
I am following you Jennifer
Thanks Carole, I followed you back!
Hey, I'm Georgia and I write 'I've Started Therapy.', https://georgiacadoret.substack.com/ a candid invitation to a mental health conversation.
I aim to do what it says on the tin - I want to open up the conversation about mental wellbeing, therapy, depression, toxic positivity, shame, and all of the related ugly and beautiful lumps and bumps.
This week I have made several self-care moves. I have taken myself on a mindful walk every morning for at least 20 minutes to expose myself to sunlight first-thing, which improves my mood SO much. I have been practicing compassionate self-dialogue in the mirror, especially when that inner critic comes with its old tricks. I have also been doing some slow yoga right before bed, which helps me to wind down/recover from workouts, and sleep so much better.
Thank you for the encouragement to highlight the need for putting our own oxygen masks on before others' in order to be of better service to the world! <3
Hi Georgia!!
Your practices are all so inspiring- I like the 20 min walk in the morning the most. I might try it this week!
Thank you for being here and sharing!! 🤍
My name is Chris and my Substack is Hello, Adversity (helloadversity.substack.com). Self-care for me is going outside and breathing in the fresh almost-spring air, even though it's not quiiiiite warm enough to spend extended time outside.
Hey Chris!!
Thanks for saying hi here. I love to breathe in the coastal air. I love that salty scent. Where are you writing from?
Connecticut!
I write @carolecline and am an intuitive wellness coach at meetyourfutureself.net