Is it weird to leave a comment on my own post? Not in return of a reader comment, but just, a stand alone, comment from me?
I’m returning to share that the rumors were true, I found out last night that the universe, spirt of unconditional love, heaven, whatever you believe comes next- gained a precious 3 year old boy on Sunday. His name was Trigg.
If I am lagging on replies in my inbox or here- that’s why. Sending love to his family, to all families in grief. 🕊️
Oh wow, I've never thought about the fact that retreating is a form of people pleasing. I always considered it a form of self-care but now I'm thinking about it differently. That disappointment of showing up not as your ideal self definitely has ties to people pleasing.
I love how you make me reflect on my own reflections with your comment!! I agree, I retreat as a form of self regulation/care too- but only when i am burned out and need to recharge, away from others. Sometimes, I know that I need help, or connection, but I shy away from asking or reaching out because I dont want to come off as a “burden” or a “downer”. That’s where I realized the people-pleasing pattern can be shed- I don’t have to hide away. We are allowed to ask for and receive support!
TYSM for reading. Sending you all the VERY best!! xx
Oh, wow, this resonated with me times 1000. Both the grief and the naval-gazing self-doubt. I wanted to slam that book shut right with you. I also suffer from debilitating worry that I am just a narcissist, hocking my stories for some self-serving aggrandizement. But then you reminded me that where there is actual vulnerability and openness, there is always connection and universal mirroring with those who read our words. That's the magic. Thank you for speaking to this so honestly, and so eloquently. I LOVE your voice, K.
Your memoir chapters make me (and so many other) layers and depths of emotion that I’ve forgotten exist until I’m with you in your words. Thank you so much for that. And thank you, for believing I put this letter together eloquently 🥹 it means the world. I love that we get to be here together.
It still astounds me how your writing feels like you are plucking thoughts and emotions right out from my own spirit. I yearn to write about my feelings but often don't because of exactly what you alluded to - I feel selfish. Surely others feel worse than me and so who am I to write about my own struggles when theirs are so much more? Thank you so very much for reminding me that we are on this journey TOGETHER. I needed this message at this exact moment.
It is interesting that how we can feel SO much for people who we've never met. This week marks 15 years since the tragic loss of one of my bonus sons. He was just shy of 21. We live life in a way that is branded as before his accident and live after. But the support of family, friends, and even strangers is what has helped keep us uplifted. So even though that family may not know you, just kidding owing someone is out there praying for them is an immense help to their healing.
My coffee sister. Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to tell me about your journey and the before vs after chapters of your loss. So sorry for such a tragic passing, I wish I had better words or more support to give. Agreed, we feel such depths from total strangers because of writing!
I can't tell you how important your comments and nuggets of warmth are to me. I love sharing this space with you.
Oh K! You are such a wonderful sensitive soul 🥰. In fact, I think you are one of the least self-involved person I've ever met. Your intent and your impact are the same in this case, which is to speak openly and honestly about the human experience and to be resonant with your readers. Thank you for sharing so generously with us. XO ❤️
Queen Amy <3 You always hold out a wing for me to nest away under- thank you so much. Writing can be so scary!! Support and friendship like yours truly, and honestly does make me feel like I belong here when my mind tells me otherwise. I’m off to go watch your LIVE with Bonnie for Pearly Gates!! ♥️
YES, and....we need your voice. I need it. I'm realizing this more and more as I get feedback from readers. We all have something special to share and you never know who really needs it in that moment but I guarantee you someone does. ❤️
I feel so much of this. The part about us not being exposed all the time to people who live in different parts of the world, that it feels hidden away from us on purpose to keep us from empathizing…feels true. Each time I watch a documentary about somewhere else I realize how connected we all are. Each time I see a video of another human being experiencing loss I am reminded- we are not separate.
Our griefs and joys are not different.
But so quickly we forget. Thank you so reminding me to remember today.
Is it weird to leave a comment on my own post? Not in return of a reader comment, but just, a stand alone, comment from me?
I’m returning to share that the rumors were true, I found out last night that the universe, spirt of unconditional love, heaven, whatever you believe comes next- gained a precious 3 year old boy on Sunday. His name was Trigg.
If I am lagging on replies in my inbox or here- that’s why. Sending love to his family, to all families in grief. 🕊️
Oh wow, I've never thought about the fact that retreating is a form of people pleasing. I always considered it a form of self-care but now I'm thinking about it differently. That disappointment of showing up not as your ideal self definitely has ties to people pleasing.
Ashleigh!!!
I am HONORED to have you here.
I love how you make me reflect on my own reflections with your comment!! I agree, I retreat as a form of self regulation/care too- but only when i am burned out and need to recharge, away from others. Sometimes, I know that I need help, or connection, but I shy away from asking or reaching out because I dont want to come off as a “burden” or a “downer”. That’s where I realized the people-pleasing pattern can be shed- I don’t have to hide away. We are allowed to ask for and receive support!
TYSM for reading. Sending you all the VERY best!! xx
Oh, wow, this resonated with me times 1000. Both the grief and the naval-gazing self-doubt. I wanted to slam that book shut right with you. I also suffer from debilitating worry that I am just a narcissist, hocking my stories for some self-serving aggrandizement. But then you reminded me that where there is actual vulnerability and openness, there is always connection and universal mirroring with those who read our words. That's the magic. Thank you for speaking to this so honestly, and so eloquently. I LOVE your voice, K.
Your memoir chapters make me (and so many other) layers and depths of emotion that I’ve forgotten exist until I’m with you in your words. Thank you so much for that. And thank you, for believing I put this letter together eloquently 🥹 it means the world. I love that we get to be here together.
Dear Miss K,
It still astounds me how your writing feels like you are plucking thoughts and emotions right out from my own spirit. I yearn to write about my feelings but often don't because of exactly what you alluded to - I feel selfish. Surely others feel worse than me and so who am I to write about my own struggles when theirs are so much more? Thank you so very much for reminding me that we are on this journey TOGETHER. I needed this message at this exact moment.
It is interesting that how we can feel SO much for people who we've never met. This week marks 15 years since the tragic loss of one of my bonus sons. He was just shy of 21. We live life in a way that is branded as before his accident and live after. But the support of family, friends, and even strangers is what has helped keep us uplifted. So even though that family may not know you, just kidding owing someone is out there praying for them is an immense help to their healing.
❤️
My coffee sister. Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to tell me about your journey and the before vs after chapters of your loss. So sorry for such a tragic passing, I wish I had better words or more support to give. Agreed, we feel such depths from total strangers because of writing!
I can't tell you how important your comments and nuggets of warmth are to me. I love sharing this space with you.
I hope we both have a soft week ahead. <3
Oh K! You are such a wonderful sensitive soul 🥰. In fact, I think you are one of the least self-involved person I've ever met. Your intent and your impact are the same in this case, which is to speak openly and honestly about the human experience and to be resonant with your readers. Thank you for sharing so generously with us. XO ❤️
Queen Amy <3 You always hold out a wing for me to nest away under- thank you so much. Writing can be so scary!! Support and friendship like yours truly, and honestly does make me feel like I belong here when my mind tells me otherwise. I’m off to go watch your LIVE with Bonnie for Pearly Gates!! ♥️
Perfect writing, as always 📚
thank you for supporting me through the highs and lows, as always IK. Your presence does not go unappreciated 💙
We need more persons like you and Malaika Simmons. All the best 💐
Malaika, hands down, is an angel on Earth. I love that we get to experience her here! 💙
YES, and....we need your voice. I need it. I'm realizing this more and more as I get feedback from readers. We all have something special to share and you never know who really needs it in that moment but I guarantee you someone does. ❤️
😭✨ I absolutely need your voice too. I love this perspective Bon Bon.
I feel so much of this. The part about us not being exposed all the time to people who live in different parts of the world, that it feels hidden away from us on purpose to keep us from empathizing…feels true. Each time I watch a documentary about somewhere else I realize how connected we all are. Each time I see a video of another human being experiencing loss I am reminded- we are not separate.
Our griefs and joys are not different.
But so quickly we forget. Thank you so reminding me to remember today.
Love you K!!