I Tried the "I AM" Practice & Realized: I Am...Just Like You

When Self-Awareness leads to Social Awareness

Jul 16, 2024

Greetings, Dear People-Pleasers-

I have been stewing on a personal discovery for a couple of weeks now, collecting droplets of courage to share what was a PROFOUNDLY basic (it’s always the obvious to everyone BUT ourselves) discovery of myself.

This discovery led me to deeper understanding of my purpose here on Earth, and then connected the dots back to the realization that the world does not revolve around me. I realized (again) that I am a single thread in the fabric of humanity- and my radical self-discovery, is actually a common trait that all of us, YOU & ME BABE, share here.

What was the ~~mundane~~ mysterious discovery?

Let me take you back to the start of the process. You’re going to want to walk through this one with me.

A fellow Substacker here,

Christine Vaughan Davies

(absolutely brilliant being of Light- check her out), posted a letter called Divine Dialing; What's Your Calling?. You already know, that title was just waiting to be clicked by my ~~lost soul,~~ spiritual seeking-self. You should read it, regardless of your souls’ status. PROMISE ME, you will read it. No pressure.

The end of Christine’s letter walks readers through the “I AM” practice. Are you familiar? My L&D Manager at work actually took a group of us new people-leaders through this practice, which was awesome- BUT I highly recommend trying this practice in a private setting to go EVEN deeper.

For those of you who have not yet read CVD’s letter (I’ll see you in my office later), here’s how the “I AM” practice works:

You may do this with a partner, or alone. I practiced alone, which is why I feel my results were supreme. As a recovering people-pleaser, it’s easy to want to fulfill the expectations a partner may have. Not wanting to let anyone down, I would stay surface level in my replies- or try to cater my answers to be more “likable” to my audience. I don’t love this about myself. It’s embarrassing to admit. Running through the practice alone, allowed me to ask myself the question, and reply with my true voice. Nobody’s precious expectations shattered, besides my own. Which can be freeing in itself.

Start by having your partner (or yourself, to yourself) ask:

Who are you?

Then reply:

I AM ______

(Please just go read CVD’s example of this, because I am not doing it justice here)

You repeat this pattern of asking Who Are You, and replying with different endings to I am ___ for several minutes.

➡️ Your answers don’t always have to be things that you do, or are- but things that you want to be, or deserve. (People-pleasers, bookmark here.)

I spoke my questions out loud, alone, while lying flat on my back in my dark bedroom with the coral glow of my Himalayan salt lamp on it’s lowest setting. Everything is better with salt. Even lighting.

I documented everything in the Notes of my phone when done- here is how my practice went, and I discovered that we are birds-of-a-feather:

I AM Kaylen Alexandra.

I AM a wife.

I AM a mom.

I AM a daughter.

I AM a sister.

(Insert all 90 varieties of family member, here)

I AM an employee.

I AM a woman.

I AM …tired.

I AM trying.

I AM learning.

**Tingling sensation- I feel happy when I learn; leans into feeling of joy and pulls at this thread:

I AM teaching (behind the scenes of course).

I AM growing.

I AM giving.

**Pre-historic lump of coal known as my Heart is warming, follow this further…

I AM maybe something else in the form of teaching?

Higher-self to lower-self: She’s stuck in the lazy river of teaching again. Boys- deploy the extraction technique. Let’s bring her back.

I AM writing. Storytelling?

I AM… searching for exactly what it is about writing that makes me feel this joy.

**Ding Ding! Lightbulb: It’s the process. The process! Brilliant!

It’s the puzzle in my mind that gets slowly completed as words come together, piece by piece.

It’s the exhale to my inhale.

I live for that feeling of my time spent on something that brings me so much joy, being ready to go out into the world. An extension of me.

Which brought me to:

Writing, is a love of mine. Deep. Committed. Love.

BUT

That doesn’t mean that I can’t feel this shiny glimmer ONLY when writing.

Which is how, boys and girls, I landed at:

I AM A CREATIVE.

Lower-self to Higher-self:

Me??????

OMG. Noooooo.

Really?!

No.

Really??

Higher-self to Current-self: Nods.

😭 ✨

**Search party deploys in mind for evidence.

Memories surface of feeling this level of joy when painting and completing a project. When pouring resin art, when decorating, when styling an outfit that makes me feel most ME, when telling my ~~famous~~ series of bedtime stories to Augie, when making clay-earrings, or candles, or a really good cup of coffee.

Do you see the pattern here?

I feel joy, when I am in the process of creating. When I am writing I feel immense purpose, grounding, centering, peace. I love me some peace.

Here’s the thing: I have access to feeling this level of aliveness when I am working on projects that allow me to be creative. A crafter, if you will. That’s how I found out I AM a Creative. Or an Artist? Still working out the labeling, here.

And this is where YOU come in:

While I was reveling in the newfound self-awareness (first pillar of emotional intelligence) of being a crafty-kook, I was battling both the idea of being so pretentious as to believe that I, meeee, the uneducated swine of the creative realm, could be an arteest while simultaneously feeling that this conclusion is not individual to just me.

I thought about you, dear reader. Well, maybe not YOU you, but- I thought about people. Some of you (the REAL YOUs) I did reflect on. My fellow Stackers (writers), friends, family, my colleagues, and people in my social circles. You are all artists too. And to those of you I don’t know personally- I realized that art is a part of life. We are all artists.

It may not be in the SAME EXACT WAY that I am- that would be ridiculous and also perturbing. But You and I are not so different. You are an artist, a creative too. It’s in the way you live. It’s coded in all the details that you may miss on the daily, but are there- regardless.

Maybe you hate painting and writing, but you love deep connection (this ones’ for you: My Shorty With The Braids), and the way you create is not on canvas, but through your conversations cultivated with others.

Or how you set up your dinner table, or maybe you don’t have a dinner table, you eat on the floor off a newspaper while watching your favorite movie so that you can finish the final pieces of that puzzle.

Or through the sport you play, or the song you strum, the food you cook and feed with, or way you let the car at the stop sign go- even though you were there first.

Maybe you do write, and bring out the quiet parts of yourself that you would never say out loud, in a space where you can show the world (or small corner of it), who you are.

I AM…here to be seen, understood. To Love, and be Loved.

And I know, dear reader, you are too.

I love ya for that. I rlly do. However your higher-self tells your current-self to go about it.