Cool, Calm, & Not Collected
What we can control, when things are out of control
Welcome to DPP, a weekly newsletter about the real life trials and tribulations of pleasing, and how to leverage emotional intelligence for proper recovery. Letters land on Tuesdays, please allow me a first class seat with your inbox?
The general feeling of being alive lately, I can only describe as chaos. Overstimulation. Fear. Anger. Mistrust. Grief. Exhaustion.
Sure, there are laughs sprinkled in our mutual misery, but honestly, a 48 hour weekend with built-in chores is not the restoration our society needs right now.
Literally every direction we turn- there is SoMeThInG going on. To quote Emily In Paris: “Merde”.
I’ve seen many newsletters compile lists of things the writers of said letters are reading, eating, listening to, watching etc. I’ve felt inspired to do the same, but that creative spark didn’t tap on my shoulder to share until this week.
Today’s letter will be quick. I want to share my own list of sorts, but it’s important to me to first acknowledge that times are turbulent, and everything I share below is a coping mechanism.
When things are batshit crazy spiraling, focusing on what I can control (not much) helps. This tactic is known as leveraging the second pillar of emotional intelligence: self-management. Read more about SM tools here: Click Me.
Here’s how I’ve been coping, minus the bit about me taking scissors to my hair over the bathroom sink. Please do share your self-management practices with me in the comments below. My hair would appreciate it.
Reading:
I Might Regret This by: Abbi Jacobson (Co-creator and Co-Star of Broad City) Essay format. Funny. Easy to read. Good times.
Some Substacks by fellow writers you should check out:
and . Lots of feelings. Also, my friend (am I allowed to call you that?) of Shame Sandwich is doing the thing and going PUBLIC with her services!! If you like laughing, need help marketing, or branding- GO TO HER NOW.
Listening To:
Audio Book: Revelation- Connecting with the Sacred in Everyday Life by Russel Brand (LOL) I know celebrity “How To Guides” are kind of a joke. Especially when said celebrity is Russel Brand. So far, it’s the usual self-improvement run down. Not the worst.
Podcast: Terrible, Thanks for Asking by
(she writes over here on Substack and you all should go subscribe)Music: Astronaut In the Ocean on YouTube because it is Augie’s favorite song right now. We also listen to the Kids Bop version- I’ll spare you.
Sleep: Insight Timers Blissful Healing & Sleep with Binaural Beats. I love Insight Timer. If meditation is too daunting for you ( I
hatelove it), this app can really help. Guided practices, sounds for sleep, stories, bells- basically all the whistles.
Watching:
Agatha All Along - Disney+
I could write an entire letter about this show. Some of you know I am a MCU fan. If you don’t know what MCU means, that’s all I need to know, and you should stop reading now. WandaVision is my favorite show to ever exist, and Agatha has been a delightful spin-off. Only downside is that Disney+ releases one episode per week (Wednesdays), so I have not been able to binge. If you are into Witches- this is for you. If you haven’t seen WandaVision- start there. I have a tattoo on my sleeve with a quote from WandaVision, it really is that good.
New Rock Stars: YouTube breakdown of easter eggs you missed while watching Agatha All Along (or any MCU film/show).
For some of us, our friendship ends here. I have accepted how totally un-cool this makes me. I like knowing things you may never need to care about. (shout out to my friend Tom, who introduced me to this obsession and also provided the opening pumpkin spice tweet today)
If you do happen to enjoy Marvel/Agatha/WandaVision- please PLEASE talk to me. I am accepting any/all friendship applications on the subject.
Thinking About:
The end of the world as we know it.Something I have been tip-toeing around, daydreaming about, that will surely seal the deal on my crunchy-mother status is: Sourdough Bread. I want to make it. Thinking about buying a starter-kit. Is that lame? Am I a fake-baker if I buy the starter-stuff? Tips?
What’s on your list?
What are you reading/watching/listening to and eating these days?
Yours in pumpkin spice & everything not nice,
K. Alexandra
P.S. Are you a people-pleaser? Do you struggle to say No, or draw a boundary? Ask A (recovering) People-Pleaser is an advice column where you can submit your deepest, darkest, questions about how to manage the peskiest of your relationships. All you have to do is click Anonymous Questions, to bare your soul and prepare for support right here.
Love ALL of this. Don't buy a sourdough starter, let's meet for coffee and I will bring you one. Mine is decades old. A friend's family shared theirs with me.
felt this because everything does feel like a shitshow most of the time ;/
love your shares on what's helping you in the self-management area. you mentioning insight gives me a push to get back to my practice of using it. One of my favorite things up there was a brief 3-minute meditation from Dora Kamau titled "the only place you need to be is here". and no, I think what matters most is making your sourdough, not the way in which you make it, use whatever you need to get it started!
on my self-management rotation right now, is a lot of reading of things that interest me, I've been doing some easy diy upcycling projects with old tshirts that need a refresher, reddit, lots of time on my yoga mat, rewatching Insecure for the 1500th time, and baking--i really enjoyed this chocolate chip recipe from the food blog "eat with clarity"
https://eatwithclarity.com/gluten-free-chocolate-chip-cookies/