What Happens After the Four Pillars?

Why Dear People Pleasers Became The Fifth Pillar

You might be wondering —>What’s With the New Name?
I’m here to explain: Why Dear People Pleasers Became The Fifth Pillar

Dear reader,

When I first started writing Dear People Pleasers, it was a love letter to the version of me that over-apologized, over-functioned, and only recently learned that “No.” is a full sentence.

Somewhere between navigating marriage, motherhood, corporate life, and watching an embarrassing number of TED talks on boundaries, I realized I wanted more room. Not just to talk about people-pleasing, but to explore everything that happens when we stop. What fills the space when we’re no longer living for approval?

That’s where The Fifth Pillar comes in.

In emotional intelligence (yes, this part is staying!), there are (still) four core pillars:

1. Self-awareness

2. Self-management

3. Social awareness

4. Relationship management

This evolved version of my newsletter is about the fifth one- the part they don’t teach in workshops: how to live it.

The Fifth Pillar is where all four pillars meet real life, in miscommunications at work, in bedtime routines gone off the rails, in awkward breakthroughs, and in the very human, sometimes hilarious, always humbling process of becoming more emotionally fluent.

My personal essays will continue to explore:

• Themes of my comically ordinary day-to-day

• Failed Attempts to communicate feelings of the temporary human experience

• Whether it’s “emotionally intelligent” to scream into a throw pillow sometimes...

Thank you for growing with me. I’m honored you’re here.

Practicing emotionally intelligent ways of being (most days),
xX Kaylen Alexandra xX
Founder of The Fifth Pillar (formerly Dear People Pleasers)