Dear People Pleasers: Published in Authority Magazine!

5 Tips on How To Grow Every Day

Welcome to DPP, a weekly newsletter about the real life trials and tribulations of pleasing, and how to leverage emotional intelligence for proper recovery. Letters land on Tuesdays, please allow me a first class seat with your inbox?

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One good thing about rejection is that it tells me I am still active, still writing. If I stopped working, I wouldn’t get rejected anymore. But would that be good? Also, I see rejection as proof that my work is being judged for its quality and not simply because I have a name.

–Isaac Bashevis Singer, as told to The New York Times in 1985

I am not going to give you the auto-generated LinkedIn-esque announcement here about how thrilled I am to have been published in my first magazine.

Don’t be mistaken, I am absolutely *thrilled*, and you bet your bottom dollar I will be purchasing their framed verification of publication certificate to hang proudly upon my walls for everyone myself to see every. single. day.

So how, exactly, is this different from a LinkedIn announcement then??

What I want to veer away from is the illusion of any kind of effortless-overnight success that this letter may bring. Not that getting published in an online magazine makes me queen of everything successful, but I understand & empathize with fellow writers here who may be seeing this and be thinking, “okay, how the H-E-double-toothpicks did SHE get published? I CAN DO IT BETTER!!!” I agree with you. You probably CAN do it better!

So, before I give you the links to lay eyes upon my article, I want to affirm your beliefs & dreams (should they be in publishing or otherwise) and tell you that this article, this magazine publishing, is TWO YEARS of work, all building upon itself. Trial and error, fails, rejections, ghosting of hundreds of pitches- it’s not pretty.

I didn’t land this opportunity because I am an authority figure (contrary to the magazines publication title). I actually don’t think I am an authority of anything- and often challenge people who claim that they are…

Let this win of mine be a motivator to you. My pitch was not selected because I am the best. This is a reflection of DETERMINATION. I refused to Give Up. I pitched and pitched, and pitched some more…

Finally, I landed something, someone, who said YES. You can find your YES too. Don’t let the mirage of overnight success get you down. Stay determined, and reach out to me if you need any (emotional) support.

*Note to my Parents (if you are not one of my four parents, please move along): You have been so supportive of my writing, and I am deeply thankful. In this article, I mention the beginnings of my people-pleasing pattern. What I did not have the ability to share (due to word count) is how much I love and appreciate all you have done to help shape me. Each of you has had a special impact on my life, and by supporting my work you are helping to heal my pleasing tendencies and also empower readers who struggle with this pattern to develop tools for ending the cycle. Thank you, I love you. ♥️

So, now that you know that, here is my first-ever magazine publication, on 5 Things You Can Do To Grow Everyday. (If you open, please click 👏 to help circulate)

Photo Credit: www.diamondstreetmedia.net

With grit & elbow grease,

K. Alexandra

P.S. Every other Tuesday, DPP alternates to our advice column, Ask A (Recovering) People Pleaser. What questions do you have about Relationships in your life, or people-pleasing?

Submit to: Anonymous Google Forms