Are You In The Club?
“Creativity is the natural order of life. Life is energy: pure, creative energy.”
-Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way
Hello dear people pleaser,
Are you in the club? The club of self-love? What practices do you maintain to nourish yourself?
If you have none- that’s okay- we all start there, especially as Givers. Helping others is so important, and it can be fulfilling- many of us here work (paid- or not) in positions that were created to help others. These are grueling and mentally taxing roles - and this only covers one of the many hats we wear in life.
Most of us know the phrase, “you cannot pour from an empty cup”, yet we continue to try. We are squeegeeing out any last drops from that cup we can find. This is the place where burnout, overwhelm, and explosive emotions are born. It gets to a point beyond our control.
In today’s letter we will cover tips for Self-Management, which is the second pillar in learning how to be emotionally intelligent. I’ll go over:
What you need to create your club
When to start your club
Tips/Resource links to get you inspired
Creating Your Club: 101
Your club is going to be founded by you, for you. *Pro tip- keep in mind that this is not a selfish act, rather, an essential act to ensure your cup is full enough to regularly pour unto others. By creating time for yourself, the ripple effect results in your best self showing up for those who need you. It helps them, when you help yourself.
That being said, hopefully you feel less guilt when motioning to initiate your club.
So, what do you need to start a self-love club?
I’m not going to be able to cover all the topics from the image above in today’s newsletter- I’ll be sure to circle back- but I do want to put a spotlight on the subjects of “Create” and “Go Inward”.
One of the ways we can regulate our feelings (remember: we must first deploy self-awareness to identify them) is to CREATE. Move through that energy.
Do you have any hobbies?
If not- think back to your younger self- what did your interests used to be? Are you still drawn to exploring those activities now?
Important Note: Your creations DO NOT need to be functional, or “useful”. The point of this exercise is to heal, not be productive. Your worth is not based in your productivity, even though most of us have been bred to believe the opposite is true. Should your leisure activity end up being something functional/useful- that’s okay too. It’s your intentions going into it that counts. Make sure this time is restorative to you. Added pressure of creating something “for the world” or to monetize, defeats this entire concept.
Special shoutout to a soul sister (whose initials are also K.A.) for sending me a clip of a woman doodling on a rainbow scratch pad. The prompt was about revisiting the joyful activities of our childhood. The clip unlocked a memory from the vault of my subconscious: When I was in third or fourth grade, living in Nevada City, CA, I had a really cool bedroom. It had a loft in it. I used to love to climb up the ladder to the forest green carpet that lined the loft, and set myself up with some construction paper to create “magazines”. I wrote “articles” and clipped out pictures from actual magazines or ads that arrived in the mail. I arranged my pictures around my text and would cut and paste everything into place. This activity brought me peace, and joy. I was unaware of it at the time, but crafting would come to be one of my top three self-care activities that I return to when I notice I need to regulate my emotions. Creating this newsletter has a similar soothing effect for me.
A Note on Perfection- it is not your end goal. Similar to the Important Note above, it is imperative that you approach your creative activity with the intention to enjoy yourself. The simple act of creating - not the end result is what will help move us through our feelings.
The reason why I don’t have any pictures to share of my childhood “magazines” is because when I was finished creating them, I would “edit” them with the most critical eye. I would find something wrong with my work and rip it up. Throw it out. I would feel ashamed or embarrassed at the thought of anyone ever seeing it- so I destroyed it.
**Let this be your gentle reminder to stay aware of your inner self-talk. As soon as you notice you are being cruel to yourself in you head, take a step back from that voice. This practice is called: Mindfulness.
Do not let your inner critic shame you into destroying your creations. A quote I have remembered when I start to notice my critical inner voice, is from a book called, “The Untethered Soul” by Michael Singer (I’ll link it below):
“To be aware that you are watching the voice talk is to stand on the threshold of a fantastic inner journey. If used properly, the same mental voice that has been a source of worry, distraction, and general neurosis, can become the launching ground for true spiritual awakening.”
Crafting is a tangible or tactile way to move through our feelings, and can be personalized to an activity that works for you:
Jewelry making
Knitting/sewing
Drawing/painting/doodling
Scrapbooking (crafting construction paper magazines…)
Pottery/Ceramics
Digital art
Creating musical playlists based on your mood
Singing/songwriting
Playing an instrument
Writing poetry/journaling
Photography
Cooking/Baking
Tending to plants/gardening
…The list goes on, depending on what craft feels right for you in the moment.
What you will need in order to create depends on what activity you are drawn to. Over time, you may come to find that your interests will change, and change back. Let’s say you take up knitting- try to keep yarn and knitting needles on hand, so that you can practice your craft often, or in the moment.
When should you start? I bet you already know the answer to this one. It’s NOW. There will always be one million other things that seem more important to “check off that to-do list”. Those things will still be there when you are done, and you will complete those things more efficiently after you have tended to yourself. You may have to try it out before you believe it. I did.
Routines: I’m not going to be too hard on you here. I’m also not going to lie to you about my own routines. I have an “on & off” habit of waking up at 5am to practice my self-care rituals of reading/journaling/meditating. Life happens. Sometimes I am able to recognize that sleep is what my body needs. Sometimes its not a conscious choice- just a cycle I am in. I am here to encourage you to find a time that feels like it could work for you long-term. Give it a try.
Maybe we can help each other on this platform. Leave a comment in the chat if you have found a routine that works, or if you would like suggestions for new activities to try.
Before I leave you with links, I’d like to introduce one final concept to practice mindfulness: Morning Pages, invented by Julia Cameron, the author of “The Artist’s Way”. You don’t need to be a self-proclaimed artist, or writer, to gain a wealth of help from this text. Julia’s Morning Pages concept is part of her 12 week program to tapping into higher creativity. To participate in the Morning Pages you:
Wake up
Journal. Anything. At all.
Repeat each morning. For as long as possible.
You don’t need to have anything grand to report in your pages. You can literally write “I don’t have anything to write”, or “I hate journaling” if that’s exactly what comes to your mind. Let yourself just brain-dump, whatever the voice in your head is saying- become aware of it, and write it down on the paper. No journal entry needs to be a certain length to count. Give it a try if this practice intrigues you. Again- please chime in the comments with your results!
Thanks so much for meeting me here, yet again! I love having this time with you.
As a thanks for reading (or listening- did you know that the Article Voice over is my recorded voice?!), I leave you with some links- as promised:
Books to encourage creativity:
Books to encourage and inspire mindfulness:
Wishing you a creative week ahead!
Digital Hugs,
K. Alexandra
P.S. If you feel anyone in your circle could benefit from today’s newsletter, please share by clicking the button below. Thank you for supporting my work, and for showing up for yourself!
I enjoyed this post so much, K!
Thank you for reinforcing us in our journey of expressing our creativity and inner work! You're indispensable!
"The simple act of creating - not the end result is what will help move us through our feelings." Thank you for this quote and thank you for this space! It's challenging me to go INWARD... because when I think about creativity I automatically associate it with a specific outcome --> productivity (ick!). Ways I want to explore being playfully creative is some type of embroidery (childhood hobby), and making pom poms (new interest)! Just the thought of making something that's vibrant in color brings instant joy to my soul. And hey, if the end product is ugly or funky it will make me laugh. So it's really a win-win when you think about it.