An ice breaker question I actually want to play

it's this that i live for

As I scolded myself for not having Spotify added to my bookmarks bar on my laptop when I intuitively went to click for it, I thought, how many other people in the world have Spotify in their bookmarks?

And, what other kinds of bookmarks do we share?

Imagine this: We are at a party. I ask you what your internet bookmarks are. Some of yours turn out to also be mine. We celebrate with a rapid-fire round of our top five favorite books of all time. Again, overlaps. We are now BFF’s, and forget everyone else at the party. This is my ideal ice-breaker situation. I don’t frequent many parties. (be honest- how obvious was that??) But when I do, please know that big crowds make me anxious. I don’t know how to regulate an entire party’s spectrum of emotions, which puts me instantly on edge, and then causes anxiety. I realize stabilizing everyone in the room is not my job. And to that I say, old habits die hard. I’m working on it. If you are showing me mercy by playing my iCe BrAkeR game at a party, I appreciate you. You are helping me to regulate in a crowd. That’s hard for me.

So, what are your Go-To bookmarks?

What is it that you take a shortcut to? Rely on? That describe you in one click?

Here’s the top five most visited bookmarks on my laptop:

1. Edfinancial

   Edfinancial is my personal shortcut to see just how many dollars in debt I am for my student loans. I hate this bitch. I feel a combination of rage and despair when I click it. But I need this tab. I need it constantly in my face to remind me to make my monthly payment. It hurts to look at, but I need the motivation. The blaring reminder helps keep me aware of what I owe.

2. ChatGPT

   Don’t freak out. IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. I CAN EXPLAIN!!!! I know you’re now thinking, “a WRITER is using Ai to write all her material - what was I doing by subscribing?!” That’s not what I use it for! I am lazy but not about writing. check yourself, fool. I struggle with planning life. ChatGPT helps me with that. Building schedules, suggesting gift ideas for loved ones, and retirement savings options 101. I do sometimes use ChatGPT to help me decide on an essay title, or ask it for prompts, which if you are a fellow writer/journaler and you HAVEN’T yet done- I suggest you stop reading right now. Go ask for a writing prompt, and then report back. <3

3. YouTube Live: Jackie & Shaddow Eaglets

   There’s a 501c3 nonprofit called Friends of Big Bear Valley that hosts and facilitates a 24/7 livecam in the nest of 2025’s eaglets, with their parents, Jackie and Shadow. I’ve written about it here before. We voted to name the eaglets Bruno Mars & Lady Gaga, my son’s idea, inspired by what we call “our song” Die With A Smile, by them. My aunt and uncle introduced me to the livecam, and I went straight home to show the family. We were invested. The circle of life happening right before our eyes. Every one of us was crushed when the confirmation of eaglet #3’s death was revealed. I still check the nest from time to time. It centers me. Even when empty. Just to gaze upon the forest from the top of a tree I’ll never have to climb, thanks to this camera, balances my senses. Induces emotional regulation. To watch the breeze in the trees, other birds flying across cam, I start to drop into my body and feel where I need to be present most. Even if you’re not seeking spiritual enlightenment in the trees, you may enjoy learning about the great outdoors with me and the three thousand other folks streaming with you at any given time.

4. Substack

   Not only to draft my own letters, but I also come here almost daily to read updates from my favorite writers. There are some really creative, inspirational, and kind minds on this platform. I come to learn, be entertained, understand, and connect. This week I read a moving letter from my newest Substack Sister,

   Megan Youngmee
   about Eco-Friendly Ways to Save Money. Check it out, here.

5. Interview Sign Up Forms

   Back when this publication was called Dear People Pleasers, I had a monthly interview series called Oh, Please! Some fellow writers, and makers, even readers, answered interview questions about how they shed people pleasing patterns to live better lives. Now that the publication has evolved to The Fifth Pillar I’d like to continue an interview series with fellow creatives around your passions, joys, glimmers, and approach to the creative process. Of course, we’ll touch on emotional intelligence. I have my Google Forms tab bookmarked because these kinds of conversations are what keep me going. They are my joy. My glimmers. I check the form for new submissions not out of obligation, but thrill. If you’d like to chat, SUBMIT HERE.

   *I’m still working on what kinds of questions to ask- if you have anything especially cherished you’d like to speak on- let me know!

There’s my top five bookmarks and what I’m doing over here! My bonus tab will now be dedicated to Spotify because I finally realized that I deserved it. Care to share any of yours? Do you have a #1, could-not-live-without?

From ChatGPT From my lifeline of tabs to yours,

xX kaylen alexandra Xx

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