5 Things That Spiced Up 2024*

Well, 5 categories of things

Welcome to DPP, a weekly newsletter about the real-life trials and tribulations of pleasing, and how I leverage emotional intelligence for proper recovery. Letters land on Tuesdays and sometimes surprise days, please consider me a first-class seat with your inbox?

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For the last letter of 2024, I wanted to share the top 5 things that saved my soul pulled through for me over this past year. If you like any of them- maybe kick off 2025 strong? Borrow anything you like from this list below! Or trash it! Don’t commit just to please me. 😉

1. Books

Most writers are readers, and I have been really spreading my wings this year. From 2022 through about June of this year, I had been on a personal development/self-help kick. This past summer I started to branch out to some memoirs, personal essays, and humorous reads- and I am a fan. 2025 I plan to move over to fiction! Here are my most honorable mentions:

• Bad Vibes Only (& other things I bring to the table) by

  Nora McInerny

• Sorry I'm Late I Didn't Want To Come by

  Jess Pan

• Everything Is Spiritual By Rob Bell (introduced to me by a fellow stacker:

  Kendall Lamb
  )

• The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron I’m 5 weeks into the 12-week program and I am really enjoying it. Healing to my heart after leaving grad school. I am connecting back to what I REALLY want to learn about and explore. Here to say that even when we think we don’t have 3 words, let alone 3 pages to write every morning within ourselves- WE DO.

2. Television

I’m not trying to be the most enlightened person on the planet. I don’t care if TV rots my brains. I enjoy it, and this year I have been doing double-time: I’ve been watching TV for the pure joy of it and also- I’ve been studying storylines! So fun. Here’s what I have LOVED and would watch again:

• Fleabag (Amazon Prime) recommended by

  Megan Lee
  10/10. LOVED IT. Little bits of breaking the fourth wall, watching Fleabag herself live life while managing shame, guilt, friendship, sisterhood, and dating. It feels real and relatable, but also not. Captivating.

• Nobody Wants This (Netflix) 12/10. Did you know that this show is based on a TRUE STORY?! And did you know that the two sisters who have a podcast are based on the REAL LIFE sisters, who have a podcast?! This show holds a particularly special place in my heart because it tells us all how inter-religious couples CAN and DO work. This makes me feel so seen in my marriage, and I hope that Season 2 is JUST AS HONEST about these challenges as the first.

• Agatha All Along (Disney+) 10/10 If you are a Marvel fan- and I am- this was the perfect follow-up to WANDAVision. Stunning. No notes.

• Dune Prophecy (HBO Max) 11/10. This show is a spin-off from the Dune films. If you haven’t seen the movies, the show is hard to follow. If you have- the show helps develop more meaning for the films! LOVE WHEN THAT HAPPENS. Plot thickens!! If you are wondering who’s good and who’s evil when it comes to Harkonnens vs Atreidies - you will finally find out here. Also- gotta love the sisterhood. So much depth to the Truth Sayer’s history. I am waiting at the edge of my seat for s2.

• No Good Deed (Netflix) Not yet finished w S1! Trigger Warning: It is a DARK Comedy. Emphasis on the DARK. Like, pitch black. The reason it makes the list is because Lisa Kudrow is our leading lady. I would follow her anywhere. You do see little flecks of Pheobe from FRIENDS in her here. And there are funny moments.

3. This Statement

Note: I am not religious, but I do consider myself spiritual and I believe in something divine- larger than humanity. Agnostic, you could say. For my birthday this year, I wished to build a lasting relationship with unconditional Love. If you think that sounds familiar- it is! Inspired by Elizabeth Gilbert. I have been trying to share here the significance of this statement to me since I heard it, but the time never felt right until now:

“All praise be to Allah in every situation!!!”

- Final Written Statement of Marcellus Khalifah Williams

In September, the world heard that Marcellus requested chicken wings and tater-tots as his final meal. He was executed for a 1998 killing he maintained he did not commit. He was a Muslim, poet, and Imam (think pastor) for prisoners.

Believe what you will about this man- but for me- to be in the face of death, at the hands of humanity, and to praise God for the situation- that takes a special kind of inner peace.

After my precious friend passed in 2021- the phrase “everything happens for a reason” was thrown with flames out the window. There was no REASON I could dream up where she deserved to die. And the following year, when my sister called from a state I can only imagine as an unliving hell to tell me “Nick died”, my rejection of divine timing solidified. People don’t simply die out of nowhere because EvErYtHiNG hApPeNs fOr A rEaSoN…right?

At least I thought so until I read Williams’ final statement.

Praising god/the universe/divine/whatever you want to call it in the face of death, changed my perception of what it means to have faith. Something my husband told me I lacked earlier this year. He’s not wrong. I don’t place trust in any sources outside of myself. Ever. I am working to change that at my own pace.

“All praise be to Allah in every situation” has been taking up space at the back of my mind, rent-free, since I read it. Especially when I find myself in shitty situations. The circumstance under which the statement was shared was critical to my embracing of it. Mr. Williams helped me open my eyes to the notion that there could be something greater than ourselves out there. And this essence could know more than us. We may not be able to see it now- but even when life is abysmal (like being informed that you are to be executed), we can place our trust in the divine and know that there’s a place for us in the Bigger Picture.

Maybe things do actually happen for a reason…maybe our personal POV is like looking at all of existence through the hole of a straw. We are only getting the cliff-notes version of ALL THAT IS.

4. Events

This list will be short. Barely even a list. There is one event I attended this year that fueled me to pull through till today:

• An Evening with Elizabeth Gilbert at The Balboa Theatre on 2.22.24

My friend

Mesa Fama

was there- but I didn’t know her yet. If I could turn back the clock I would have met her, found her, and bear-hugged the crap out of her. AND ALSO- I WOULD HAVE PURCHASED THE BACKSTAGE PASSES TO MEET LIZ. I didn’t know that was possible- introvert/newb event-goer-problems. That evening was nothing short of transformative. Even though I didn’t get to meet Liz- I did pull off gifting her a custom sweater by leaving it with security and praying that it would land in her hands AND PEOPLE, IT DID. Next to surviving childbirth, it is my proudest moment 😂 ✨

LG wears my sweater!! 😍

& there’s me when I found out she got it! 🥳

5. Substack

Duh!! Did you think that this right here wouldn’t make the list?! Saved the BEST for last! & I don’t just mean the writing part- although that has been rejuvenating and revealing to me in countless ways. But people- Your subscriptions 🤣 Kidding. What I mean to say is: YOUR WRITING. YOUR STORIES. YOUR POETRY. YOUR HUMOR. YOUR PAIN. Your humanity…

Reading, bonding, and not only surviving but thriving with the kindest souls I ever did meet here, has single-handedly kept me pulling at that invisible thread for more.

Some of you have even gone above & beyond humoring me by participating in my interview series, “Oh, Please”, and I cannot tell you how obsessed grateful I am to you:

Mesa Fama

,

Kendall Lamb

,

Amy Gabrielle

, &

Megan Lee

. ❤️‍🔥 ✨ ❤️‍🔥 ✨

My health has been poor this year. Emotionally, I’ve been a roller coaster. I have been told that when we are out of alignment with our life purpose, life will let you know. I’ve been blasted with tests over the past 12 months. I know you have too. We all have. Reading here, and being part of the Substack collective has made all the difference. I know I said, “Thank You” in my last video about 7 thousand times, but…I say it because I mean it. I’m filled with immeasurable gratitude to be among some of the best authors I have ever read, and to see myself in your stories helps me feel I am ON THE RIGHT TRACK. And to those who are not writers, but readers of DPP, I have a special place in my heart for you as well. Here, I feel like I belong. 🦋

Thank you so much for holding my hand through 2024. I hope to keep close in 2025, & beyond. 🕊️

Xx,
K. Alexandra

P.S. RECOVERING PEOPLE-PLEASERS: If you would like to be interviewed in 2025 I would LOVE to have you! Please submit your contact information (safely) here: Interview Me! 🐞